"Have you ever been wandering amongst the rickety metal shelves of your local Goodwill, seen a strange item of pottery, and thought, “is that an urn?” I certainly have." -- Callie Frederick, 8th Grade
Have you ever been wandering amongst the rickety metal shelves of your local Goodwill, seen a strange item of pottery, and thought, “is that an urn?” I certainly have. Have you ever opened that urn-like vessel and found human ashes? Me too. Today I'm going to walk you through the 5 best urns I've found in thrift stores.
5.
This urn, listed on Save-A-Life Thrift Stores’ website, could be yours today for the modest price of ten dollars. My Shallot colleague made a call inquiring about whether or not the urn contained ashes and was hung up on, so while were unable to confirm whether or not it actually contains ashes, I certainly feel that it could, and the irony of an urn from a store called Save-A-Life was just too good to pass up.
This urn, listed on Save-A-Life Thrift Stores’ website, could be yours today for the modest price of ten dollars. My Shallot colleague made a call inquiring about whether or not the urn contained ashes and was hung up on, so while were unable to confirm whether or not it actually contains ashes, I certainly feel that it could, and the irony of an urn from a store called Save-A-Life was just too good to pass up.
4. While this fantastic mug is not technically an urn, I can confirm that it did contain a small Ziploc™ bag of a substance that looked suspiciously similar to human ashes, so I think it deserves to be on this list. I adore this odd mug, and, while the ashes may be off-putting, I’m sure a sprinkle of human remains in my morning coffee is nothing I can’t handle.
3. I see the beady eyes and toothless grimace of this horribly beautiful urn in my nightmares. It’s terrible and I hate it, but in a good way. I think this is the perfect vessel to store your quirky relative, although I’m pretty sure it would scare unsuspecting visitors at your home.
2. Wouldn’t you love for your remains to be stored in a 3D model of your favorite politician’s head? Of course you would. It’s a universal human experience. I can’t tell if this strange and downright creepy urn is a thrift store nightmare or a dream, but it’s certainly something. If you’re interested in reading about more Barack Obama shenanigans, check out this article by my colleagues here at The Shallot.
1. When I saw this beautiful container hidden behind stacks of decrepit plates that probably have enough lead paint to kill a horse, I was smitten. I looked into the eyes of this ceramic muppet and felt true inner peace, so it’s safe to say I was shocked to open it and find that, frankly, it appears Kermit finally found the rainbow connection. In the sky. While this urn, complete with Kermit’s bright green ashes, might simply seem like a thrifting gem, it brings up larger questions. In the Muppets canon, Kermit is very much alive. However, this fantastic urn seems to tell a different story… one of crime and corruption. Muppets, what did you do to the real Kermit the Frog, and who is the cruel soul masquerading as him?
