"Ever since NASA began its mission, they've been trying to find ways to get humanity off the planet. Many people don’t know this simply because NASA and the government don’t want people to. I’m here to tell you the truth."--Mila Boyden, 7th grade
The following article is a special May investigation by the OSA Shallot staff, aiming to bring you the very best of the campus' fake news.
We all know that NASA is a US space agency used for space exploration. You may not have known that ever since NASA began its mission, they've been trying to find ways to get humanity off the planet. Many people don’t know this simply because NASA and the government don’t want people to. I’m here to tell you the truth.
We all know that NASA is a US space agency used for space exploration. You may not have known that ever since NASA began its mission, they've been trying to find ways to get humanity off the planet. Many people don’t know this simply because NASA and the government don’t want people to. I’m here to tell you the truth.
It Started In 1958
It all started in 1958, when the US government purchased an Italian-built, Swiss-designed submarine named the Trieste. Does the year 1958 sound familiar to you? That’s probably because it’s the same year the US government space agency was founded.
“In July of 1958, NASA was founded. That same year, the Trieste was sold and bought by none other than the US Navy,” reports Lauren Reid for the Daily Beacon. “As far as I know, the month in which the US bought the Trieste is unknown — or unrecorded. So, it’s possible that we founded NASA after buying the vessel. I found this weird because the US Navy designed and created a new cabin for the vessel shortly after owning it. This new cabin made it so the vessel could go even deeper in the ocean, holding the record of the most depth traveled until 2012. So, we get this submarine that can travel to extreme depths, and the same year create a space program?”
The article continued to report that “The Trieste now inhabits a home in an exhibit at The Washington Navy Yard. The US bought this submarine, added to it, reached a world record in depth and then put it in a museum exhibit. I genuinely believe we found or saw something down there that made us never want to explore that deep into the ocean again.”
So what did the government find in the Ocean? Here are a few theories.
1. Aliens
Although it may not sound believable, the possibility that Aliens are in the ocean is highly likely. Alien enthusiasts and government agencies have scoured the earth and space for decades trying to find aliens, but no one ever paid any attention to the water.
Dr Anne Jungblut is a researcher at the National History Museum who focuses on microorganisms that live in extreme environments, explains that ”We know less about the bottom of the ocean than the surface of the moon,” ”Very few people have been to the deep sea, and so it is a really exciting place.”
The deepest part of the ocean is 11,034 meters, which is almost 7 miles.
According to The National History Museum, “Last year an expedition to the Mariana Trench made history by conducting the deepest crewed dive ever completed as it descended 10,927 meters into the Challenger Deep.” Still leaving around 1,000 meters left to be explored.
The article continued to state that “even the Challenger expedition did not reach the bottom [of the Challenger Deep]. It would not be until the 1950s that the generally accepted deepest depth of around 10,900 meters would be recorded, although there are a few unrepeated measurements of over 11,000 meters. At this depth the temperature inside a submersible is below freezing, while the sheer weight of water above exerts an unfathomable pressure equivalent to eight tons per square inch, or more than 1,000 times the pressure we experience at sea level. Life, however, still thrives.” The article did not give any examples of the “life” that they found in the Challenger deep. It is possible that they were forced to stay silent or too scared to share the horrors that they discovered.
“I think they found aliens,” claimed Calliope Dean, an 8th grade Oakland School for the Arts. “I think that waterborne humanoids are very likely, especially since we started in the water. The ocean goes down so far that we can’t know what's down there so it’s entirely possible that those blue aliens with gills are down there, and are probably a threat to humanity.”
This may seem like a far stretch but there is a lot of evidence behind this theory. Although it may not be the most likely or plausible out of the three theories explained in this article, there's a pretty good chance that there are aliens in the ocean.
2. Megalodons/Dinosaurs
Many people believe that megalodons and ancient dinosaurs still exist in the ocean, which when you think about it, is a very plausible explanation for why the government wants to get humanity off the planet.
“We have explored so little of the ocean which leaves a lot of space for the unknown to hide. I think that the government found megalodons or other oceanic dinosaurs,” said Cb Omand, a 7th grader at OSA.
Halia Pratt, a 6th grader at OSA agreed with Cb. “I think that they found a dinosaur in the ocean, a liberal dinosaur.”
Megalodons are 50 ft (about 3 story) long sharks that supposedly went extinct 3 million years ago, or at least that’s what the government wants us to believe. Although there are a few plot holes in their coverup.
The first thing is that no one knows what caused the megalodons to go extinct. There are a few theories such as being wiped out by contesting apex predators and not being able to adapt to the changing environment. Both of these theories have flaws.
First things first. We know that the megalodons are the apex predator of the oceanic food chain so it would be almost impossible for the whole entire species to be wiped out by organisms that are lower on the food chain. We also know that life on earth has the remarkable ability to adapt to changing environments, hence evolution. The megalodon became the apex predator of the ocean through evolution and being able to adapt, it doesn’t make sense that the same thing that helped them succeed would kill them off.
As far as evidence proving their current existence, there are many pieces of evidence. For one example, we can look to current apex predator that lurks in the depths of the ocean… The Colossal Squid.
The colossal squid is thought to be hunted only by the sperm whale, the facts say otherwise. Sperm whales live in the sunlight zone while colossal squids live in the twilight to midnight zone of the ocean. Although sperm whales can dive into the twilight zone, they can only stay there for a maximum of 45 minutes. This is hardly enough time to find one of the rarest creatures in the world. So the chances of a sperm whale and a colossal squid meeting are so small it’s almost improbable.
So the question is: What’s killing the colossal squids? The answer: Megalodons.
The colossal squid is 30-50 ft when full grown, while the megalodon is 50-60 ft. They are by far the biggest and strongest creatures in the ocean, both lurking in the depths. The megalodons evolved to live in the depths of the ocean, just like the colossal squid. Which makes the megalodons the only possible natural predator of the colossal squid because if it’s not the megalodons killing the colossal squids, then what is it?
3. Themselves
The deepest threat to mankind is mankind. Perhaps that explains our fear of what's in the ocean. Instead of facing an otherworldly creature, what if those explorers faced something even more terrifying… a reflection of themselves. Humanity.
This theory might be the hardest to envision, but that makes it all the more terrifying. What if the reflective midnight dark depths served as a mirror… to humanity's dark truths.
There's something inside each and every one of us, something unhinged. Something that we can’t control. Or can we? And most of us are trying to hide it.
What if, in some dark crevice in the depths of the ocean, lay a mirror, a reflection of humanity, a parallel universe in which all of humanity's secrets and lies are revealed, an unhinged truth.
“I think that, what they really found, was themselves. I think that there is danger, and they know it. That’s why they're trying to get us off the planet,” Maya Mastropasqua, an 8th grader at OSA explained.
Rafi Ponet, a 7th grader at OSA said that “I think that they found themselves. I think that they saw themselves in a clearer light, a worse light. But too scared of themselves to say it.”
The other theories all point to something unknown. Xenophobia is the fear of the unknown, but what if our fear for the unknown is only there to mask our fear of ourselves. After all you never know what's looking back at you when you're staring into your own reflection.
Why Did The Government Hide This From Us
The government hides many things from its citizens. They often violate our rights as Americans. Hiding from us the terrors that lie in the depths of their secret research labs.
Mastropasqua believes that “It was a total violation of the American public's rights. We should have a public execution of every NASA worker, and any space fans in general.”
Other people took a less extreme approach to the matter. “I feel betrayed because I feel like we all could've worked together,” said Pratt. Pratt continued to say that “I feel as if our rights have been violated. As Americans we have the right to know what's on our planet. The planet that we came to first.”
Omand agreed with Pratt, saying that “I feel betrayed, seriously. This is not something that should be hidden from us because it’s a matter of public safety. We want to be sure that everybody is safe so why not just tell us.”
Many people now feel unsafe because of whatever the government found in the ocean. Especially since they hid this from us. When asked if they felt safe on earth Mastropasqua replied “Actually I've been feeling unsafe. I’ve believed in this from day one, and I feel as if it’s a total violation of my rights as an American citizen.”
Pratt agreed with Mastropasqua. “I've definitely been feeling unsafe. Those government workers are slimy.”
Many people weren’t surprised when they found out about the fact that the government lied to us. “I’m honestly not surprised. The government lies to us a lot, they are always hiding things. It’s not like this is the first time that they've lied about something. Just look at Area 51,” Omand exclaimed.
What Are We Going To Do About It?
The government's solution to the problem is to get everyone off the planet. But what about our solutions?
Mastropasqua said that “I think that we should do a Salem witch trial for all the government workers if you know what I mean? Or we could flip the Earth inside out. You know, air out the ocean a little. I don’t know, I'm just spitballing.”
Omand came up with another solution, Pilates. “I think that we should all do pilates. Pilates makes you really strong. When the dinosaurs and megalodons come out of the ocean…we’ll be ready. The government wants us to run. But we're going to fight them off with our strong pilates bodies. Pilates is always the answer.”
Whatever is in the ocean is dangerous. And with the government lying to us about it, no one knows who to trust. So I’m leaving you with one final message, watch your back, and sleep with one eye open. They're coming.
All of the images shown above were taken by the U.S government, and because of a network of brave american citizens, have been released to the public.