"why would a band as significant as Cannibal Freakin’ Corpse play in a small venue like the gender neutral bathroom, instead of the much larger, more known, FOX Theater right below us? Well luckily, OSA metalhead and Shallot writer Orion Songster was able to catch the band afterwards for an interview." -- Orion Songster, 9th grade
The following article is a special May investigation by the OSA Shallot staff, aiming to bring you the very best of the campus' fake news.
Recently there has been the sound of loud construction coming from the OSA gender neutral bathroom. If you enter it, you will find one wall covered by cloth, and from behind are the unending noises of hammers, drills, and other tools. It is unknown who exactly is building this, but it is assumed to be members of PD.
The good news is that construction is nearing an end. The gender neutral bathroom is also reopening as a jambalaya restaurant and, you’ll still be able to hear lots of noise, because the construction is a small concert venue! To make the experience of getting hot soup, other food items, and a well-deserved break from your worst teachers slightly more enjoyable, the space will have shows being played as often as possible.
The construction team installed Grade-A noise-proof walls, to ensure the most secrecy possible, which is a very lucky thing, considering the opening show will be played by iconic Death Metal band Cannibal Corpse.
Now why would a band as significant as Cannibal Freakin’ Corpse play in a small venue like the gender neutral bathroom, instead of the much larger, more known, FOX Theater right below us? Well luckily, OSA metalhead and Shallot writer Orion Songster was able to catch the band afterwards for an interview. This here, is what the band said:
Q: Thank you so much for coming today. Of course, we have a few questions about your choice. What made you choose to perform here, considering we have the Fox Theater right below us?
A: We figured it would be nice to go back to a small club, which of course is our origin. Not to mention it’s the gender neutral bathroom. We’ve heard quite a bit about this place. And goddamn, y’all weren’t lying. It’s tiny in here. If the teachers here aren’t gonna do anything about this place, I guess we’re here to do something.
Q: That’s awesome, we’ll put a picture of you on the wall to commemorate this moment. What was the experience, being back on a small stage after playing in crazy massive places?
A: Oh, it was certainly refreshing. Reminds us of where we came from originally. I think some of us… *coughs* Corpsegrinder *coughs*... really needed to be humbled, and this gave us the chance to have that. It’s also a really great way to prepare for the rest of the tour. Playing at a place like this is a really nice way to get ready for being on a larger stage. It’s nice to slowly get ourselves back into the feel of doing live shows without a massive pressure on our backs that would be there at a big venue. Super awesome.
Q: Oh, I bet. Speaking of your tour, can you tell us a bit more about that?
A: Yeah. So we’re going on our 2023 North American Tour, and we decided to make this place the kickstarter. We’ve got a bunch of shows–I think 23? Yeah, 23. We’ve got 23 shows to do, all across the place. We’re doing something up in Alaska, something in Mexico City, all over the place in the U.S. and Canada. We’re actually doing another Bay Area show later this week. We’ll be playing in the Masonic in San Francisco, if you missed the bathroom show.
That was pretty much the end of the interview. The venue has just set up an Instagram page which it will use to promote shows and other events. You can find the link here.
Recently there has been the sound of loud construction coming from the OSA gender neutral bathroom. If you enter it, you will find one wall covered by cloth, and from behind are the unending noises of hammers, drills, and other tools. It is unknown who exactly is building this, but it is assumed to be members of PD.
The good news is that construction is nearing an end. The gender neutral bathroom is also reopening as a jambalaya restaurant and, you’ll still be able to hear lots of noise, because the construction is a small concert venue! To make the experience of getting hot soup, other food items, and a well-deserved break from your worst teachers slightly more enjoyable, the space will have shows being played as often as possible.
The construction team installed Grade-A noise-proof walls, to ensure the most secrecy possible, which is a very lucky thing, considering the opening show will be played by iconic Death Metal band Cannibal Corpse.
Now why would a band as significant as Cannibal Freakin’ Corpse play in a small venue like the gender neutral bathroom, instead of the much larger, more known, FOX Theater right below us? Well luckily, OSA metalhead and Shallot writer Orion Songster was able to catch the band afterwards for an interview. This here, is what the band said:
Q: Thank you so much for coming today. Of course, we have a few questions about your choice. What made you choose to perform here, considering we have the Fox Theater right below us?
A: We figured it would be nice to go back to a small club, which of course is our origin. Not to mention it’s the gender neutral bathroom. We’ve heard quite a bit about this place. And goddamn, y’all weren’t lying. It’s tiny in here. If the teachers here aren’t gonna do anything about this place, I guess we’re here to do something.
Q: That’s awesome, we’ll put a picture of you on the wall to commemorate this moment. What was the experience, being back on a small stage after playing in crazy massive places?
A: Oh, it was certainly refreshing. Reminds us of where we came from originally. I think some of us… *coughs* Corpsegrinder *coughs*... really needed to be humbled, and this gave us the chance to have that. It’s also a really great way to prepare for the rest of the tour. Playing at a place like this is a really nice way to get ready for being on a larger stage. It’s nice to slowly get ourselves back into the feel of doing live shows without a massive pressure on our backs that would be there at a big venue. Super awesome.
Q: Oh, I bet. Speaking of your tour, can you tell us a bit more about that?
A: Yeah. So we’re going on our 2023 North American Tour, and we decided to make this place the kickstarter. We’ve got a bunch of shows–I think 23? Yeah, 23. We’ve got 23 shows to do, all across the place. We’re doing something up in Alaska, something in Mexico City, all over the place in the U.S. and Canada. We’re actually doing another Bay Area show later this week. We’ll be playing in the Masonic in San Francisco, if you missed the bathroom show.
That was pretty much the end of the interview. The venue has just set up an Instagram page which it will use to promote shows and other events. You can find the link here.
