"In sixth grade, I wasn't the wisest kid--but after two years of middle school, I feel I'm able to Say I've learned from those experiences." --Ava Losee-Unger
In sixth grade, as many would assume an 10 or 11 year-old just starting in middle school to be, I was an awkward kid-- I wasn’t loud, I didn’t fight for attention, and without a group or clique to call my own, I was basically figuring out the years ahead mostly by myself. Sure, I had an older sister at the same school, but she hadn’t gone to OSA for middle school and couldn’t vouch for any solutions to the problems I had that would come up. In sixth grade, I wasn’t the wisest kid--but after two years of middle school, I feel I’m finally able to say I’ve learned from those experiences.
If you want an analogy of middle school drama in OSA, imagine 5th grade drama amplified to a depressing soap opera. People will date, people will make friends with certain people and stop being friends with certain people, teachers will get fired, awkward dances will happen, you’ll have crushes and be ooed and awed at when you mention their name. There can also be several middle school clichés derived from movies that can be applied to real life. If you’ve seen the movie Eighth Grade written and directed by Bo Burnham, I can tell you it’s a lot like that, but the stress load is a little easier in the starting years.
A word of advice: when you see something in your academic life that makes you uncomfortable, be it your grades, your friendships, anything--make sure something gets done about it. I remember regretting so much when I got a B on a test and didn’t ask for help on the next one, even if I studied as hard as I could. Make sure to talk to your teachers about a grade you feel you didn’t deserve or get help when something troubles you!
Now, it’s a different story if one of your friendships is troubling you. When I saw a friend of mine was not the friend I thought she was, I acted kinda stupid and broke it off like that. No explanation, no conversation, I just told her--texted her, even--with some quick coaching from my dad, who I found out later didn’t much like her either. I would suggest, if you see that a friendship isn’t quite working out the way you had planned, instead of breaking it off without addressing it like I did, find a way to talk to the friend without full-on confronting them.
In the best-case scenario, it could go something like this:
You: Hey, can I talk to you about something?
Them: Okay.
You: It kind of makes me uncomfortable when you do ---.
Them: Oh, I’m sorry, I’ll stop!
Now, they’ll either stop or they won’t, but at least you’ve talked about it with them.
In the worst-case scenario, it could go like this:
You: Hey, can I talk to you about something?
Them: Okay.
You: It kind of makes me uncomfortable when you do ---.
Them: Are you serious? I do all this stuff for you and you say that to me? You are so rude, you know I have... (Now here’s where they could trick you with guilt trips. Don’t fall for these. Someone’s circumstances in life don’t excuse them from hurting you. They are not your responsibility.)... a poor family. You can’t do this to me.
The “worst-case scenario” friends are not people you should be around and will only get you hurt; and if you’re too scared to get away, try to avoid them. Don’t be afraid to talk to a parent or a teacher about what’s wrong (although I never really wanted to talk to a teacher, they can help with some things, such as bullies and huge fight disputes). OSA now has a large variety of teachers and counselors who can help you in certain ways, and it’s in your best interest to find out which ones.
I worried a lot about whether or not I would have any friends, as someone at a new school would. I had found a best friend, who we’ll call Clarice, and we did everything together. We were in a few classes together and mostly walked to them together. We were in the same emphasis, same grade, everything--and that year went by easier with someone by my side to understand and experience the same conflicts I had with real empathy. I can guarantee that even if you believe yourself to be antisocial or unable to make any friends, you will. I felt like this sometimes but was quickly able to make friends I connected to.
Many sixth graders wonder about dating--crushes can weigh on you, especially as you’re nearing the more socially acceptable age to date. I remember having several crushes when I was in sixth grade and wishing I could ask them out, but fearing my family and friends would judge me or call the relationship “not real”, as if we wouldn’t talk or only hesitantly hold hands. I would suggest that you, at age 10 or 11, wait until eighth grade to try it.
I dated a girl for about 6-7 months in seventh grade and enjoyed it, but it still wasn’t like the typical high school relationship I had seen in movies. In eighth grade you will have experienced almost all of middle school and will have matured in your mind, at least enough to know when and when not to date someone at your own discretion, not just because everyone else wants to. Crushes are fun to have, although they can really hurt when you find out that they like someone else, or that they don’t like you. Remember, just because someone you like doesn’t like you back doesn’t mean any other crush you’re going to have is going to think of you the same way. Different people have different preferences. Don’t sweat someone saying no, even if it makes you feel like a pile of dirt. I can guarantee you’ll wonder why they don’t like you-- what is it about me that they don’t like? This is no excuse to change yourself at all unless what you’re changing is for yourself, and not other people. No one has any agency over you and your choices other than yourself.
At OSA, you’ll find a very accepting environment. Saying anything along the lines of belonging to the LGBT community will get no reaction other than, “cool”. At OSA, you can be yourself. I would make sure you know your friends enough not to make jokes. Know that “politically correct jokes” isn’t excessive sensitivity. Jokes about our current situations are funny, but not when they hurt people. I’ve found that you can lose friends over political mistakes--whenever I had heard of a Trump supporter at OSA, a rare occurence, the gossip about that person would not stop. Sometimes, we as people love to judge based on background, and sometimes, we just have to let it be. If you don’t like something about somebody, sometimes it’s just best to let it go.
In conclusion, be yourself; everyone else is taken. Know that the hardships you face will be only for, hopefully, short periods of time, and you will find friends to help you along the way, and there will always be ways around them. 6th grade is hard, but there’s always chance of a better tomorrow.
If you want an analogy of middle school drama in OSA, imagine 5th grade drama amplified to a depressing soap opera. People will date, people will make friends with certain people and stop being friends with certain people, teachers will get fired, awkward dances will happen, you’ll have crushes and be ooed and awed at when you mention their name. There can also be several middle school clichés derived from movies that can be applied to real life. If you’ve seen the movie Eighth Grade written and directed by Bo Burnham, I can tell you it’s a lot like that, but the stress load is a little easier in the starting years.
A word of advice: when you see something in your academic life that makes you uncomfortable, be it your grades, your friendships, anything--make sure something gets done about it. I remember regretting so much when I got a B on a test and didn’t ask for help on the next one, even if I studied as hard as I could. Make sure to talk to your teachers about a grade you feel you didn’t deserve or get help when something troubles you!
Now, it’s a different story if one of your friendships is troubling you. When I saw a friend of mine was not the friend I thought she was, I acted kinda stupid and broke it off like that. No explanation, no conversation, I just told her--texted her, even--with some quick coaching from my dad, who I found out later didn’t much like her either. I would suggest, if you see that a friendship isn’t quite working out the way you had planned, instead of breaking it off without addressing it like I did, find a way to talk to the friend without full-on confronting them.
In the best-case scenario, it could go something like this:
You: Hey, can I talk to you about something?
Them: Okay.
You: It kind of makes me uncomfortable when you do ---.
Them: Oh, I’m sorry, I’ll stop!
Now, they’ll either stop or they won’t, but at least you’ve talked about it with them.
In the worst-case scenario, it could go like this:
You: Hey, can I talk to you about something?
Them: Okay.
You: It kind of makes me uncomfortable when you do ---.
Them: Are you serious? I do all this stuff for you and you say that to me? You are so rude, you know I have... (Now here’s where they could trick you with guilt trips. Don’t fall for these. Someone’s circumstances in life don’t excuse them from hurting you. They are not your responsibility.)... a poor family. You can’t do this to me.
The “worst-case scenario” friends are not people you should be around and will only get you hurt; and if you’re too scared to get away, try to avoid them. Don’t be afraid to talk to a parent or a teacher about what’s wrong (although I never really wanted to talk to a teacher, they can help with some things, such as bullies and huge fight disputes). OSA now has a large variety of teachers and counselors who can help you in certain ways, and it’s in your best interest to find out which ones.
I worried a lot about whether or not I would have any friends, as someone at a new school would. I had found a best friend, who we’ll call Clarice, and we did everything together. We were in a few classes together and mostly walked to them together. We were in the same emphasis, same grade, everything--and that year went by easier with someone by my side to understand and experience the same conflicts I had with real empathy. I can guarantee that even if you believe yourself to be antisocial or unable to make any friends, you will. I felt like this sometimes but was quickly able to make friends I connected to.
Many sixth graders wonder about dating--crushes can weigh on you, especially as you’re nearing the more socially acceptable age to date. I remember having several crushes when I was in sixth grade and wishing I could ask them out, but fearing my family and friends would judge me or call the relationship “not real”, as if we wouldn’t talk or only hesitantly hold hands. I would suggest that you, at age 10 or 11, wait until eighth grade to try it.
I dated a girl for about 6-7 months in seventh grade and enjoyed it, but it still wasn’t like the typical high school relationship I had seen in movies. In eighth grade you will have experienced almost all of middle school and will have matured in your mind, at least enough to know when and when not to date someone at your own discretion, not just because everyone else wants to. Crushes are fun to have, although they can really hurt when you find out that they like someone else, or that they don’t like you. Remember, just because someone you like doesn’t like you back doesn’t mean any other crush you’re going to have is going to think of you the same way. Different people have different preferences. Don’t sweat someone saying no, even if it makes you feel like a pile of dirt. I can guarantee you’ll wonder why they don’t like you-- what is it about me that they don’t like? This is no excuse to change yourself at all unless what you’re changing is for yourself, and not other people. No one has any agency over you and your choices other than yourself.
At OSA, you’ll find a very accepting environment. Saying anything along the lines of belonging to the LGBT community will get no reaction other than, “cool”. At OSA, you can be yourself. I would make sure you know your friends enough not to make jokes. Know that “politically correct jokes” isn’t excessive sensitivity. Jokes about our current situations are funny, but not when they hurt people. I’ve found that you can lose friends over political mistakes--whenever I had heard of a Trump supporter at OSA, a rare occurence, the gossip about that person would not stop. Sometimes, we as people love to judge based on background, and sometimes, we just have to let it be. If you don’t like something about somebody, sometimes it’s just best to let it go.
In conclusion, be yourself; everyone else is taken. Know that the hardships you face will be only for, hopefully, short periods of time, and you will find friends to help you along the way, and there will always be ways around them. 6th grade is hard, but there’s always chance of a better tomorrow.
