"INTERACTING WITH OTHERS IS ONE OF THE THINGS THAT MAKE US THE MOST HUMAN. "
-Daisha Williams, 10th grade
Interacting with others is one of the things that make us the most human. Sharing a smile with someone as you order your morning coffee, or feeling a friend wrap their arms around you in an embrace, these are the parts of life we are told to cherish. We all have relationships with the people around us, and we build new ones everyday. But maintaining strong and healthy relationships takes a bit more effort. And the past year, with masks and trying to stay 6 feet apart, has made it even harder. But something that has tremendously helped all of us live through this pandemic is technology. The internet is a great tool for many things, especially talking to the people we care about. Because of the internet it is possible to build a strong healthy relationship with someone even without being able to see them in person on a regular basis.
Of course, in person or not, there are things needed for a good relationship both with yourself and the other person or people involved. There are five general things needed from all involved parties for a relationship to have the best chances of growing. Of course all people are different and maybe some people can have a healthy fulfilling relationship without all of these things, and maybe it won’t work out even if you have all of these. But with these and the right people you have a better chance of success. And these five things are emotional intelligence, social intelligence, emotional empathy, cognitive empathy, and good old fashioned trust. Knowing what these are and understanding how to show these and see them in other people can help strengthen and maintain relationships, which is of course the hardest part.
Emotional intelligence is the ability to be aware of, control, and express your own emotions. It also includes being able to handle relationships with other people empathetically and with good judgement. A big part of this is being consistent. If you say that you’ll text someone the next day, then do it. Consistency is what makes us comfortable, without it we don’t know what to expect. That can cause anxiety for others, and not to say that spontaneity isn’t a good trait it’s just something to be used in moderation. Managing your own emotions is also very important. Sometimes our emotions do get the best of us, and we lash out and make decisions without thinking. But when dealing with others, it’s best to try to keep this to a minimum. If you find yourself about to say or do something that seems out of character for you maybe stop and ask yourself what emotion is causing that action and what that emotion is stemming from. If it is a negative emotion or an emotion that doesn’t come from the person you are acting towards then maybe think about it some more before you take action.
Social intelligence is the capacity to know yourself and others. This develops from your experience with people. Like all things, you will learn more through your success and failures in social settings. This is similar to common sense in a way. There are the most basic things, like saying thank you to a cashier as you are handed change, but also other ways you may interact with people. With people that you desire a stronger relationship with than a random cashier it takes a little bit more. But unfortunately, there is nothing that can be told about exactly how to acquire or use social intelligence. You can be told to ask the right questions but no one can tell you what those are. And when it comes to trying to develop relationships online having intuition for these kinds of things can be even harder. When asked about this 15 year old Milo said, "I’ve made many friendships with people that I don't get to see regularly. Just taking time out of your day to repeatedly talk to someone and dedicating a chunk of your time to becoming closer to them is the key to doing this. Having tried doing this more than a few times, I have mixed feelings about it. Sometimes, depending on the person, this takes a lot of energy. But, with the right person, conversation flows easily. If you can find that kind of person that you click with almost right away, making and building friendships is effortless and really fun." So of course part of it is intuition, but it also just heavily depends on the person.
Cognitive empathy is what is most commonly thought of when you hear the word empathy. It is the idea of putting yourself in someone else's shoes to try to gain a better understanding of another person and their experiences. Having this means nothing if you don't act on it. One way you could do this is by remembering little things that might be important to them, whether that be their zodiac sign or their cat's name or what time is best for you to shoot them a text. A big part of this is understanding what the other person wants. For example some people like Milo may prefer a steady flow of communication over other things. When asked what is most important to him in a relationship he responded, "Constant communication and equal effort. In person, it's so much easier to stay in touch and see each other, but online, it takes so much more effort. You have to take time out of your day and you both have to put in the effort to talk every day (at the start), get to know each other, and build trust solely through words." However Victoria seems to think that physical contact is more important saying, "I think when starting off a relationship, physical contact is not that important. However, as the friendship/relationship grows, hugs and physical interaction can show a sign of closeness and comfort." These things are unique to each person which is why being able to better understand others through cognitive empathy is important.
Emotional empathy and cognitive empathy go hand in hand. Emotional empathy is the physical response you have when you are witnessing someone experiencing a strong emotion. Whether that is an urge to give them a high five after they aced a text, or to wrap your arms around them after they failed one. You must use cognitive empathy while using emotional empathy because although you may have the urge to help them feel better, a hug might not do that for this person. This is especially important with things that involve more vulnerability. And for people who might not enjoy physical contact in those times, being often limited to our phones and computers to communicate may make it easier. Milo expressed that sentiment saying, "Personally, I find it easier to talk to someone and tell them personal things when I’m not sitting face to face with them."
But the thing that ties all of these together, the one thing that a relationship can not thrive without is trust. Like everything else there is no one way to trust or to be worthy of being trusted. But if everyone involved does these things then it is easiest for trust to develop. The first of these is to communicate effectively. This means expressing your emotions and intentions, being true to your word, thinking before you commit to something, being able to admit when you make mistakes, and always remembering that you can say no. Being able to say no can be overlooked as a communication skill, but when you give in to something that you don't want to do it only makes the experience worse for you and anyone else involved. Also for trust to form you need to participate openly in the relationship. You can do this by being as honest as you can, and trying to show your emotions. Some people struggle with showing their emotions, but it can really help if you take the time to explain that to the other person.
Sharing a smile with someone as you order your morning coffee, or feeling a friend wrap their arms around you in an embrace, these are the parts of life we are told to cherish. We all have relationships with the people around us, and we build new ones everyday. But maintaining strong and healthy relationships takes a bit more effort. And the past year, with masks and trying to stay 6 feet apart, has made it even harder. But something that has tremendously helped all of us live through this pandemic is technology. The internet is a great tool for many things, especially talking to the people we care about. Because of the internet it is possible to build a strong healthy relationship with someone even without being able to see them in person on a regular basis.
Of course, in person or not, there are things needed for a good relationship both with yourself and the other person or people involved. There are five general things needed from all involved parties for a relationship to have the best chances of growing. Of course all people are different and maybe some people can have a healthy fulfilling relationship without all of these things, and maybe it won’t work out even if you have all of these. But with these and the right people you have a better chance of success. And these five things are emotional intelligence, social intelligence, emotional empathy, cognitive empathy, and good old fashioned trust. Knowing what these are and understanding how to show these and see them in other people can help strengthen and maintain relationships, which is of course the hardest part.
Emotional intelligence is the ability to be aware of, control, and express your own emotions. It also includes being able to handle relationships with other people empathetically and with good judgement. A big part of this is being consistent. If you say that you’ll text someone the next day, then do it. Consistency is what makes us comfortable, without it we don’t know what to expect. That can cause anxiety for others, and not to say that spontaneity isn’t a good trait it’s just something to be used in moderation. Managing your own emotions is also very important. Sometimes our emotions do get the best of us, and we lash out and make decisions without thinking. But when dealing with others, it’s best to try to keep this to a minimum. If you find yourself about to say or do something that seems out of character for you maybe stop and ask yourself what emotion is causing that action and what that emotion is stemming from. If it is a negative emotion or an emotion that doesn’t come from the person you are acting towards then maybe think about it some more before you take action.
Social intelligence is the capacity to know yourself and others. This develops from your experience with people. Like all things, you will learn more through your success and failures in social settings. This is similar to common sense in a way. There are the most basic things, like saying thank you to a cashier as you are handed change, but also other ways you may interact with people. With people that you desire a stronger relationship with than a random cashier it takes a little bit more. But unfortunately, there is nothing that can be told about exactly how to acquire or use social intelligence. You can be told to ask the right questions but no one can tell you what those are. And when it comes to trying to develop relationships online having intuition for these kinds of things can be even harder. When asked about this 15 year old Milo said, "I’ve made many friendships with people that I don't get to see regularly. Just taking time out of your day to repeatedly talk to someone and dedicating a chunk of your time to becoming closer to them is the key to doing this. Having tried doing this more than a few times, I have mixed feelings about it. Sometimes, depending on the person, this takes a lot of energy. But, with the right person, conversation flows easily. If you can find that kind of person that you click with almost right away, making and building friendships is effortless and really fun." So of course part of it is intuition, but it also just heavily depends on the person.
Cognitive empathy is what is most commonly thought of when you hear the word empathy. It is the idea of putting yourself in someone else's shoes to try to gain a better understanding of another person and their experiences. Having this means nothing if you don't act on it. One way you could do this is by remembering little things that might be important to them, whether that be their zodiac sign or their cat's name or what time is best for you to shoot them a text. A big part of this is understanding what the other person wants. For example some people like Milo may prefer a steady flow of communication over other things. When asked what is most important to him in a relationship he responded, "Constant communication and equal effort. In person, it's so much easier to stay in touch and see each other, but online, it takes so much more effort. You have to take time out of your day and you both have to put in the effort to talk every day (at the start), get to know each other, and build trust solely through words." However Victoria seems to think that physical contact is more important saying, "I think when starting off a relationship, physical contact is not that important. However, as the friendship/relationship grows, hugs and physical interaction can show a sign of closeness and comfort." These things are unique to each person which is why being able to better understand others through cognitive empathy is important.
Emotional empathy and cognitive empathy go hand in hand. Emotional empathy is the physical response you have when you are witnessing someone experiencing a strong emotion. Whether that is an urge to give them a high five after they aced a text, or to wrap your arms around them after they failed one. You must use cognitive empathy while using emotional empathy because although you may have the urge to help them feel better, a hug might not do that for this person. This is especially important with things that involve more vulnerability. And for people who might not enjoy physical contact in those times, being often limited to our phones and computers to communicate may make it easier. Milo expressed that sentiment saying, "Personally, I find it easier to talk to someone and tell them personal things when I’m not sitting face to face with them."
But the thing that ties all of these together, the one thing that a relationship can not thrive without is trust. Like everything else there is no one way to trust or to be worthy of being trusted. But if everyone involved does these things then it is easiest for trust to develop. The first of these is to communicate effectively. This means expressing your emotions and intentions, being true to your word, thinking before you commit to something, being able to admit when you make mistakes, and always remembering that you can say no. Being able to say no can be overlooked as a communication skill, but when you give in to something that you don't want to do it only makes the experience worse for you and anyone else involved. Also for trust to form you need to participate openly in the relationship. You can do this by being as honest as you can, and trying to show your emotions. Some people struggle with showing their emotions, but it can really help if you take the time to explain that to the other person.
Of course, in person or not, there are things needed for a good relationship both with yourself and the other person or people involved. There are five general things needed from all involved parties for a relationship to have the best chances of growing. Of course all people are different and maybe some people can have a healthy fulfilling relationship without all of these things, and maybe it won’t work out even if you have all of these. But with these and the right people you have a better chance of success. And these five things are emotional intelligence, social intelligence, emotional empathy, cognitive empathy, and good old fashioned trust. Knowing what these are and understanding how to show these and see them in other people can help strengthen and maintain relationships, which is of course the hardest part.
Emotional intelligence is the ability to be aware of, control, and express your own emotions. It also includes being able to handle relationships with other people empathetically and with good judgement. A big part of this is being consistent. If you say that you’ll text someone the next day, then do it. Consistency is what makes us comfortable, without it we don’t know what to expect. That can cause anxiety for others, and not to say that spontaneity isn’t a good trait it’s just something to be used in moderation. Managing your own emotions is also very important. Sometimes our emotions do get the best of us, and we lash out and make decisions without thinking. But when dealing with others, it’s best to try to keep this to a minimum. If you find yourself about to say or do something that seems out of character for you maybe stop and ask yourself what emotion is causing that action and what that emotion is stemming from. If it is a negative emotion or an emotion that doesn’t come from the person you are acting towards then maybe think about it some more before you take action.
Social intelligence is the capacity to know yourself and others. This develops from your experience with people. Like all things, you will learn more through your success and failures in social settings. This is similar to common sense in a way. There are the most basic things, like saying thank you to a cashier as you are handed change, but also other ways you may interact with people. With people that you desire a stronger relationship with than a random cashier it takes a little bit more. But unfortunately, there is nothing that can be told about exactly how to acquire or use social intelligence. You can be told to ask the right questions but no one can tell you what those are. And when it comes to trying to develop relationships online having intuition for these kinds of things can be even harder. When asked about this 15 year old Milo said, "I’ve made many friendships with people that I don't get to see regularly. Just taking time out of your day to repeatedly talk to someone and dedicating a chunk of your time to becoming closer to them is the key to doing this. Having tried doing this more than a few times, I have mixed feelings about it. Sometimes, depending on the person, this takes a lot of energy. But, with the right person, conversation flows easily. If you can find that kind of person that you click with almost right away, making and building friendships is effortless and really fun." So of course part of it is intuition, but it also just heavily depends on the person.
Cognitive empathy is what is most commonly thought of when you hear the word empathy. It is the idea of putting yourself in someone else's shoes to try to gain a better understanding of another person and their experiences. Having this means nothing if you don't act on it. One way you could do this is by remembering little things that might be important to them, whether that be their zodiac sign or their cat's name or what time is best for you to shoot them a text. A big part of this is understanding what the other person wants. For example some people like Milo may prefer a steady flow of communication over other things. When asked what is most important to him in a relationship he responded, "Constant communication and equal effort. In person, it's so much easier to stay in touch and see each other, but online, it takes so much more effort. You have to take time out of your day and you both have to put in the effort to talk every day (at the start), get to know each other, and build trust solely through words." However Victoria seems to think that physical contact is more important saying, "I think when starting off a relationship, physical contact is not that important. However, as the friendship/relationship grows, hugs and physical interaction can show a sign of closeness and comfort." These things are unique to each person which is why being able to better understand others through cognitive empathy is important.
Emotional empathy and cognitive empathy go hand in hand. Emotional empathy is the physical response you have when you are witnessing someone experiencing a strong emotion. Whether that is an urge to give them a high five after they aced a text, or to wrap your arms around them after they failed one. You must use cognitive empathy while using emotional empathy because although you may have the urge to help them feel better, a hug might not do that for this person. This is especially important with things that involve more vulnerability. And for people who might not enjoy physical contact in those times, being often limited to our phones and computers to communicate may make it easier. Milo expressed that sentiment saying, "Personally, I find it easier to talk to someone and tell them personal things when I’m not sitting face to face with them."
But the thing that ties all of these together, the one thing that a relationship can not thrive without is trust. Like everything else there is no one way to trust or to be worthy of being trusted. But if everyone involved does these things then it is easiest for trust to develop. The first of these is to communicate effectively. This means expressing your emotions and intentions, being true to your word, thinking before you commit to something, being able to admit when you make mistakes, and always remembering that you can say no. Being able to say no can be overlooked as a communication skill, but when you give in to something that you don't want to do it only makes the experience worse for you and anyone else involved. Also for trust to form you need to participate openly in the relationship. You can do this by being as honest as you can, and trying to show your emotions. Some people struggle with showing their emotions, but it can really help if you take the time to explain that to the other person.
Sharing a smile with someone as you order your morning coffee, or feeling a friend wrap their arms around you in an embrace, these are the parts of life we are told to cherish. We all have relationships with the people around us, and we build new ones everyday. But maintaining strong and healthy relationships takes a bit more effort. And the past year, with masks and trying to stay 6 feet apart, has made it even harder. But something that has tremendously helped all of us live through this pandemic is technology. The internet is a great tool for many things, especially talking to the people we care about. Because of the internet it is possible to build a strong healthy relationship with someone even without being able to see them in person on a regular basis.
Of course, in person or not, there are things needed for a good relationship both with yourself and the other person or people involved. There are five general things needed from all involved parties for a relationship to have the best chances of growing. Of course all people are different and maybe some people can have a healthy fulfilling relationship without all of these things, and maybe it won’t work out even if you have all of these. But with these and the right people you have a better chance of success. And these five things are emotional intelligence, social intelligence, emotional empathy, cognitive empathy, and good old fashioned trust. Knowing what these are and understanding how to show these and see them in other people can help strengthen and maintain relationships, which is of course the hardest part.
Emotional intelligence is the ability to be aware of, control, and express your own emotions. It also includes being able to handle relationships with other people empathetically and with good judgement. A big part of this is being consistent. If you say that you’ll text someone the next day, then do it. Consistency is what makes us comfortable, without it we don’t know what to expect. That can cause anxiety for others, and not to say that spontaneity isn’t a good trait it’s just something to be used in moderation. Managing your own emotions is also very important. Sometimes our emotions do get the best of us, and we lash out and make decisions without thinking. But when dealing with others, it’s best to try to keep this to a minimum. If you find yourself about to say or do something that seems out of character for you maybe stop and ask yourself what emotion is causing that action and what that emotion is stemming from. If it is a negative emotion or an emotion that doesn’t come from the person you are acting towards then maybe think about it some more before you take action.
Social intelligence is the capacity to know yourself and others. This develops from your experience with people. Like all things, you will learn more through your success and failures in social settings. This is similar to common sense in a way. There are the most basic things, like saying thank you to a cashier as you are handed change, but also other ways you may interact with people. With people that you desire a stronger relationship with than a random cashier it takes a little bit more. But unfortunately, there is nothing that can be told about exactly how to acquire or use social intelligence. You can be told to ask the right questions but no one can tell you what those are. And when it comes to trying to develop relationships online having intuition for these kinds of things can be even harder. When asked about this 15 year old Milo said, "I’ve made many friendships with people that I don't get to see regularly. Just taking time out of your day to repeatedly talk to someone and dedicating a chunk of your time to becoming closer to them is the key to doing this. Having tried doing this more than a few times, I have mixed feelings about it. Sometimes, depending on the person, this takes a lot of energy. But, with the right person, conversation flows easily. If you can find that kind of person that you click with almost right away, making and building friendships is effortless and really fun." So of course part of it is intuition, but it also just heavily depends on the person.
Cognitive empathy is what is most commonly thought of when you hear the word empathy. It is the idea of putting yourself in someone else's shoes to try to gain a better understanding of another person and their experiences. Having this means nothing if you don't act on it. One way you could do this is by remembering little things that might be important to them, whether that be their zodiac sign or their cat's name or what time is best for you to shoot them a text. A big part of this is understanding what the other person wants. For example some people like Milo may prefer a steady flow of communication over other things. When asked what is most important to him in a relationship he responded, "Constant communication and equal effort. In person, it's so much easier to stay in touch and see each other, but online, it takes so much more effort. You have to take time out of your day and you both have to put in the effort to talk every day (at the start), get to know each other, and build trust solely through words." However Victoria seems to think that physical contact is more important saying, "I think when starting off a relationship, physical contact is not that important. However, as the friendship/relationship grows, hugs and physical interaction can show a sign of closeness and comfort." These things are unique to each person which is why being able to better understand others through cognitive empathy is important.
Emotional empathy and cognitive empathy go hand in hand. Emotional empathy is the physical response you have when you are witnessing someone experiencing a strong emotion. Whether that is an urge to give them a high five after they aced a text, or to wrap your arms around them after they failed one. You must use cognitive empathy while using emotional empathy because although you may have the urge to help them feel better, a hug might not do that for this person. This is especially important with things that involve more vulnerability. And for people who might not enjoy physical contact in those times, being often limited to our phones and computers to communicate may make it easier. Milo expressed that sentiment saying, "Personally, I find it easier to talk to someone and tell them personal things when I’m not sitting face to face with them."
But the thing that ties all of these together, the one thing that a relationship can not thrive without is trust. Like everything else there is no one way to trust or to be worthy of being trusted. But if everyone involved does these things then it is easiest for trust to develop. The first of these is to communicate effectively. This means expressing your emotions and intentions, being true to your word, thinking before you commit to something, being able to admit when you make mistakes, and always remembering that you can say no. Being able to say no can be overlooked as a communication skill, but when you give in to something that you don't want to do it only makes the experience worse for you and anyone else involved. Also for trust to form you need to participate openly in the relationship. You can do this by being as honest as you can, and trying to show your emotions. Some people struggle with showing their emotions, but it can really help if you take the time to explain that to the other person.
