"Have you ever found yourself obsessed with the every move of a celebrity? So intrigued that you watch their life play out on social media, buy their clothing, and even need to know their relationship status at all times? This is a parasocial relationship. How does it happen, why, and how may it affect your day to day life?" --Lola Christ, 8th grade
As put by Parasocial Relationships: The Nature of Celebrity Fascinations, “Parasocial relationships are one-sided relationships, where one person extends emotional energy, interest and time, and the other party, the persona, is completely unaware of the other’s existence. Parasocial relationships are most common with celebrities, organizations (such as sports teams) or television stars.” Essentially, a parasocial relationship is the idolization of an internet personality, like Harry Styles or Zendaya, to the extent of feeling like you are their friend, even though you're aware they don’t even acknowledge you. The difference between this stalking is that stalkers believe this idolized person does reciprocate these feelings, and are willing to make contact by any means necessary. Some stalkers might stalk celebrities because of parasocial relationships, but not all people who find themselves in a parasocial relationship will do so. Parasocial relationships don’t necessarily live in that fantasy or need contact with their idols.
On the surface, many believe these types of feelings are harmless, and that is usually the case. There's nothing particularly wrong with loving Tom Holland so much you have posters of him in your bedroom, but it can evolve into unhealthy habits. In an article by Brielle Aguayo called The Psychology Behind Parasocial Relationships, Aguayo writes, “Parasocial relationships are one-sided and can evolve into unhealthy obsessions, full of emotional disturbance affecting one individual. It is common in celebrities and influencers who people become attached to due to someone’s feelings about them exceeding their expectations. However, things are blurred because obsession is not a healthy relationship.” This helps you understand the unclear line between being obsessed and just really liking someone, which can become dangerous when a celebrity's personal life becomes public.
The conservation around parasocial relationships gained traction, when the controversial divorce between Anna Tendler and John Maleny became public. Suddenly, these very famous people weren’t just dealing with the opinion of colleagues and others involved with the conflict, but with the court of public opinion. Which, when combined with people's personal parasocial relationships, can become dangerously unforgiving or weirdly too forgiving.
The whole situation was out of character for many people's favorite comedian, and it made many realize perhaps that the vision they had of a celebrity isn’t always entirely accurate. In reality, you don’t know them, you only know the version of themselves they are willing to present to the world, which of course isn’t always authentic.
Other than the the inevitable let down from finding out your favorite celebrity isn’t how you perceived them, there's also the threat of becoming so involved with their day-to-day that you feel entitled to their personal life. Many who followed the divorce between Mulaney and Tendler, felt entitled to enforce and form an opinion on this situation.
That’s why when celebrities like Kanye West air their grievances on social media—they attract more attention, because they are letting people who desperately want to know these celebrities’ every move see these celebrities’ every move. As of November 2021 the rapper's Instagram had 9.5 million followers, but as of recently, he has closer to 14 million. . It’s like hearing someone you work with had a secret affair with another coworker.You will form an opinion based on how you perceive both parties, as well as details regarding the situation—despite the fact it is none of your business.
These opinions can be negative or positive, or even indifferent. Nevertheless, they are still opinions. Like the relationship between musician Machine Gun Kelly and the model Meghan Fox, it seems so impossible that you're a little obsessed with it. Whether you care about either of them or not, you care about the relationship. It’s the degree you follow, or feel entitled to that information, that gets into the parasocial relationship territory.
Professionals mostly agree that individuals seeking out parasocial relationships aren’t harmful on surface level, or at least towards those experiencing them. “When we feel bad about ourselves and we know this from a lot of research, we go seek out relationships,” said assistant professor of Social Psychology at NSU Justin Landy. “We will kind of do what we need to do to be included and to feel that we belong, and if we’re seeking out these one-sided kind of illusory relationships, that doesn’t strike me as the best solution.” These relationships aren’t generally harmful to those suffering from them, and in some situations can create a sense of security for those who feel isolated from society.
Social media’s accessibility, including the intimate scrolling through someone's profile, is very relevant to the conversation. With how much people tend to share with their followers or on their platform, it begs the question if it’s a good thing to feel so close to your favorite celebs. It’s become something that realistically affects the reciprocant more directly. You as an individual feel entitled to sharing your opinion through their direct messages or through their comment sections, without realizing they can see and view all of it. Loving an influencer isn’t necessarily a bad thing, but when doing so you have to be able to recognize they aren’t exactly how you picture them in your head and just because they aren’t doesn't mean it’s their fault.
On the surface, many believe these types of feelings are harmless, and that is usually the case. There's nothing particularly wrong with loving Tom Holland so much you have posters of him in your bedroom, but it can evolve into unhealthy habits. In an article by Brielle Aguayo called The Psychology Behind Parasocial Relationships, Aguayo writes, “Parasocial relationships are one-sided and can evolve into unhealthy obsessions, full of emotional disturbance affecting one individual. It is common in celebrities and influencers who people become attached to due to someone’s feelings about them exceeding their expectations. However, things are blurred because obsession is not a healthy relationship.” This helps you understand the unclear line between being obsessed and just really liking someone, which can become dangerous when a celebrity's personal life becomes public.
The conservation around parasocial relationships gained traction, when the controversial divorce between Anna Tendler and John Maleny became public. Suddenly, these very famous people weren’t just dealing with the opinion of colleagues and others involved with the conflict, but with the court of public opinion. Which, when combined with people's personal parasocial relationships, can become dangerously unforgiving or weirdly too forgiving.
The whole situation was out of character for many people's favorite comedian, and it made many realize perhaps that the vision they had of a celebrity isn’t always entirely accurate. In reality, you don’t know them, you only know the version of themselves they are willing to present to the world, which of course isn’t always authentic.
Other than the the inevitable let down from finding out your favorite celebrity isn’t how you perceived them, there's also the threat of becoming so involved with their day-to-day that you feel entitled to their personal life. Many who followed the divorce between Mulaney and Tendler, felt entitled to enforce and form an opinion on this situation.
That’s why when celebrities like Kanye West air their grievances on social media—they attract more attention, because they are letting people who desperately want to know these celebrities’ every move see these celebrities’ every move. As of November 2021 the rapper's Instagram had 9.5 million followers, but as of recently, he has closer to 14 million. . It’s like hearing someone you work with had a secret affair with another coworker.You will form an opinion based on how you perceive both parties, as well as details regarding the situation—despite the fact it is none of your business.
These opinions can be negative or positive, or even indifferent. Nevertheless, they are still opinions. Like the relationship between musician Machine Gun Kelly and the model Meghan Fox, it seems so impossible that you're a little obsessed with it. Whether you care about either of them or not, you care about the relationship. It’s the degree you follow, or feel entitled to that information, that gets into the parasocial relationship territory.
Professionals mostly agree that individuals seeking out parasocial relationships aren’t harmful on surface level, or at least towards those experiencing them. “When we feel bad about ourselves and we know this from a lot of research, we go seek out relationships,” said assistant professor of Social Psychology at NSU Justin Landy. “We will kind of do what we need to do to be included and to feel that we belong, and if we’re seeking out these one-sided kind of illusory relationships, that doesn’t strike me as the best solution.” These relationships aren’t generally harmful to those suffering from them, and in some situations can create a sense of security for those who feel isolated from society.
Social media’s accessibility, including the intimate scrolling through someone's profile, is very relevant to the conversation. With how much people tend to share with their followers or on their platform, it begs the question if it’s a good thing to feel so close to your favorite celebs. It’s become something that realistically affects the reciprocant more directly. You as an individual feel entitled to sharing your opinion through their direct messages or through their comment sections, without realizing they can see and view all of it. Loving an influencer isn’t necessarily a bad thing, but when doing so you have to be able to recognize they aren’t exactly how you picture them in your head and just because they aren’t doesn't mean it’s their fault.
