"Nothing spoils a Holiday meal more than a relative starting an uncomfortable conversation or argument, whether it's intentional or unintentional. These conversations can be avoidable, pivoted or stopped outright, so here are some tips on how to do so." -- Ofelio Raven, 10th grade
Set the Tone
Starting off the holidays, ground rules can be set to avoid all of this as a whole. Make a toast to civility and loudly pronounce that politics are left at the door. Remind your family that the first Thanksgiving was to unite two different cultures in a day of peace and feasting. This will not always work, and it's possible a political skirmish is inevitable, so the best thing to do is to pivot.
Pivot the conversation
One way of diversion is to introduce a topic of general conversation that everyone can engage in at a thanksgiving table.
If a family member brings up their political standpoint on a topic, try asking the table if they’ve seen a movie or show, or what thanksgiving food they think is the best. You can also ask a divisive question such as “Do you like dark or white meat better?” or “Are leftovers best eaten cold or hot?” Not all divisive questions have to be hostile, and for a family member that craves a debate, a safe and lighthearted discussion like this can help them blow off some steam.
Another means of pivoting the topic of conversation is to engage a family member about their interests. Talking to them about their personal hobbies helps change the subject while also making them feel more heard and less on edge. Not only that, but it can also allow people to find common ground and empathize with one another.
Setting Boundaries
If somebody keeps pushing, cut the conversation short by acknowledging they have stepped into inappropriate territory, using non-serious phrases like “We’re here to eat turkey not talk turkey." You can keep the tone friendly or joking while still letting them know they may be making some people uncomfortable. There are also times when dismissing inappropriate conversations isn’t the best option, and one may want to stand up against bigoted messages in a way that doesn’t escalate the situation.
Use I statements rather than blaming the other person and using blanket statements.
Conclusion
In the end, remember you are there together through ties of family or friendship and someone in that room invited them and cares about them, even if that’s not you. Don’t be close minded yourself, instead empathize with them and know that narrow views are the result of fear and lack of education. Through learning about people's interests, sharing our own viewpoints, and exercising empathy, we can take small steps to bridge the gap in our politically divided country.
Starting off the holidays, ground rules can be set to avoid all of this as a whole. Make a toast to civility and loudly pronounce that politics are left at the door. Remind your family that the first Thanksgiving was to unite two different cultures in a day of peace and feasting. This will not always work, and it's possible a political skirmish is inevitable, so the best thing to do is to pivot.
Pivot the conversation
One way of diversion is to introduce a topic of general conversation that everyone can engage in at a thanksgiving table.
If a family member brings up their political standpoint on a topic, try asking the table if they’ve seen a movie or show, or what thanksgiving food they think is the best. You can also ask a divisive question such as “Do you like dark or white meat better?” or “Are leftovers best eaten cold or hot?” Not all divisive questions have to be hostile, and for a family member that craves a debate, a safe and lighthearted discussion like this can help them blow off some steam.
Another means of pivoting the topic of conversation is to engage a family member about their interests. Talking to them about their personal hobbies helps change the subject while also making them feel more heard and less on edge. Not only that, but it can also allow people to find common ground and empathize with one another.
Setting Boundaries
If somebody keeps pushing, cut the conversation short by acknowledging they have stepped into inappropriate territory, using non-serious phrases like “We’re here to eat turkey not talk turkey." You can keep the tone friendly or joking while still letting them know they may be making some people uncomfortable. There are also times when dismissing inappropriate conversations isn’t the best option, and one may want to stand up against bigoted messages in a way that doesn’t escalate the situation.
Use I statements rather than blaming the other person and using blanket statements.
Conclusion
In the end, remember you are there together through ties of family or friendship and someone in that room invited them and cares about them, even if that’s not you. Don’t be close minded yourself, instead empathize with them and know that narrow views are the result of fear and lack of education. Through learning about people's interests, sharing our own viewpoints, and exercising empathy, we can take small steps to bridge the gap in our politically divided country.
