 | This Month, Drama Qu33n, the Telegraph's resident advice column, tackles slightly incestuous crushes, awkward bowel movements, drug addict best buds, and more.- Somaya Abdullah |
Dear Drama Qu33n,
Help, I think I’m developing feelings for a cousin of mine who I just met. We’re 2nd cousins. We’ve already kissed and now IDK what to do becuz I like him. WHAT DO I DO?
Dear Cousin Crush,
The weird news: Assuming you’re biologically related, the two of you share 3.125% of the same DNA. This means that if the two of you were to ever have babies, the risk of them having physical deformities would be slightly higher, though not by much. The good news: it is legal for you to get married in every state in the US. Unlike gay or interracial marriage, the right to marry your cousin has been protected by law since before the civil war. Almost every nation in the world has a history in which cousin relationships have been encouraged or accepted. Today, your feelings for your cousin could obviously present a lot of issues or discomfort within your family or social groups, so I suggest that you think a lot about these potential consequences and which relationships you value most before continuing to pursue a romantic relationship with your cousin.
-Drama Qu33n
Help, I think I’m developing feelings for a cousin of mine who I just met. We’re 2nd cousins. We’ve already kissed and now IDK what to do becuz I like him. WHAT DO I DO?
Dear Cousin Crush,
The weird news: Assuming you’re biologically related, the two of you share 3.125% of the same DNA. This means that if the two of you were to ever have babies, the risk of them having physical deformities would be slightly higher, though not by much. The good news: it is legal for you to get married in every state in the US. Unlike gay or interracial marriage, the right to marry your cousin has been protected by law since before the civil war. Almost every nation in the world has a history in which cousin relationships have been encouraged or accepted. Today, your feelings for your cousin could obviously present a lot of issues or discomfort within your family or social groups, so I suggest that you think a lot about these potential consequences and which relationships you value most before continuing to pursue a romantic relationship with your cousin.
-Drama Qu33n
Dear Drama Qu33n,
I’m really scared for the downfall of my friends because they are kind of drug addicts, how can I show them that there are more valuable things in life?
Dear Scared Friend,
It sucks feeling worried that people you care about may be becoming dependent on substances for happiness. Unfortunately, you can’t force your friends to change their lifestyle choices--they have to want it for themselves, first. You can support them, though. Try inviting them to do other fun activities, like going on a hike or out to eat, and don’t mention drugs. If their drug use is being triggered by a group mentality, you may want to start spending some sober one-on-one time with your friends. Your friends could find that they are able to have a fun time without drugs, and you’ll get to hang out with them without substances in the picture. If you’re feeling really concerned, try having a non-judgmental conversation with them about their/your feelings towards drugs. You might learn more about your friends’ point of view as well as be able to voice your fears and worries.
-Drama Qu33n
I’m really scared for the downfall of my friends because they are kind of drug addicts, how can I show them that there are more valuable things in life?
Dear Scared Friend,
It sucks feeling worried that people you care about may be becoming dependent on substances for happiness. Unfortunately, you can’t force your friends to change their lifestyle choices--they have to want it for themselves, first. You can support them, though. Try inviting them to do other fun activities, like going on a hike or out to eat, and don’t mention drugs. If their drug use is being triggered by a group mentality, you may want to start spending some sober one-on-one time with your friends. Your friends could find that they are able to have a fun time without drugs, and you’ll get to hang out with them without substances in the picture. If you’re feeling really concerned, try having a non-judgmental conversation with them about their/your feelings towards drugs. You might learn more about your friends’ point of view as well as be able to voice your fears and worries.
-Drama Qu33n
Dear Drama Qu33n,
I always have to poop at school, but I’m poop shy, now I have digestive problems, how can I make it happen? You know… get it movin?
Dear Poop Shy,
Lol I feel like this is half the students at this school. My suggestions:
I always have to poop at school, but I’m poop shy, now I have digestive problems, how can I make it happen? You know… get it movin?
Dear Poop Shy,
Lol I feel like this is half the students at this school. My suggestions:
- Ask to use the bathroom in the middle of class, especially during emphasis, when other students are less likely to be in the bathroom.
- If somebody comes in at a crucial moment, flush the toilet to cover the sound.
- Remember that literally everybody does it and no one really cares. If you need help with this, read this book: http://www.amazon.com/Everyone-Turtleback-Library-Binding-Edition/dp/0613685725
- If you physically cannot poop, try prunes, or warm lemon water in the morning. Consuming more fiber and fruits is also supposed to help.
Dear Drama Qu33n,
I have a huge crush on my teacher. I’m always getting into trouble so they’ll talk to me, but my grades are really bad. Help!
Dear Teacher Crush,
I have definitely had a crush on a teacher before too, and it’s crazy-making. My advice to you is to use your current predicament to your advantage. Rather than getting in trouble to get their attention, visit them during their office hours to get help with raising your grades. You’ll get to be around them, and it will show them initiative and that you care about your performance in class. A lot of times grades suffer because a teacher thinks a student doesn’t care about their academics or behaviour, so just coming in to ask them a few questions or clarify that you want to do better could make a big difference in the grades and attention you receive.
-Drama Qu33n
Dear Drama Qu33n,
I feel so sad because my dad and mom divorced and my dog died. My dad’s new fiancee is ok… but her son is soo cute. But, like, I can’t date him because my dad is dating his mom! But I’m so depressed and need love.
Dear Depressed and Needing Love,
It sounds like you’re going through a lot, and it makes sense that you feel like you need extra affection and joy in your life right now. When you’re dealing with depression, it’s important to have an outlet for your thoughts and feelings. Do you feel comfortable talking to either of your parents about how the divorce is affecting you? If so, you may want to start a conversation with one of them about it. Aside from your attraction, your dad’s fiancee’s son may also be a good person to talk to because he’s also dealing with shifting family dynamics. Some other ideas are journaling, or if you have health insurance, seeing a therapist who’s covered by your provider or joining a teen support group like the ones at Kaiser.
Honestly, if you really want to, you could probably try and go for your dad’s fiancee’s son. You guys aren’t related by blood and didn’t grow up as siblings so I say if you’re really feeling it, go for it. The main things you will want to consider though are the uncomfortable dynamics that will likely be produced for your parents and other family members, and the fact that if it doesn’t work out, the two of you may be forced to live together for years, and be part of each others’ lives forever.
Good luck!
-Drama Qu33n
I feel so sad because my dad and mom divorced and my dog died. My dad’s new fiancee is ok… but her son is soo cute. But, like, I can’t date him because my dad is dating his mom! But I’m so depressed and need love.
Dear Depressed and Needing Love,
It sounds like you’re going through a lot, and it makes sense that you feel like you need extra affection and joy in your life right now. When you’re dealing with depression, it’s important to have an outlet for your thoughts and feelings. Do you feel comfortable talking to either of your parents about how the divorce is affecting you? If so, you may want to start a conversation with one of them about it. Aside from your attraction, your dad’s fiancee’s son may also be a good person to talk to because he’s also dealing with shifting family dynamics. Some other ideas are journaling, or if you have health insurance, seeing a therapist who’s covered by your provider or joining a teen support group like the ones at Kaiser.
Honestly, if you really want to, you could probably try and go for your dad’s fiancee’s son. You guys aren’t related by blood and didn’t grow up as siblings so I say if you’re really feeling it, go for it. The main things you will want to consider though are the uncomfortable dynamics that will likely be produced for your parents and other family members, and the fact that if it doesn’t work out, the two of you may be forced to live together for years, and be part of each others’ lives forever.
Good luck!
-Drama Qu33n
