"Openai’s newest invention is the ChatGPT Alexa! Ripped off directly from your favorite multibillion-dollar company"--Kai vejsada, 7th grade
The following article is a special May investigation by the OSA Shallot staff, aiming to bring you the very best of the campus' fake news.
ChatGPT has decided to rename itself NOVA; NOVA stands for Non-Obtuse Vigilant AI Buy NOVA now for only $567 USD. With NOVA, all your problems will become apparent, this mean machine leaves no problem unspoken. OpenAI claims this invention will revolutionize new AI technology. NOVA offers a wide variety of skill sets and traits. Ranging from common knowledge, to information about building atomic bombs.
Rafi Ponet, A 7th grader at Oakland School For the Arts, says that he enjoys spending time with NOVA. They share a common interest in basketball. Each NOVA’s personality is different. Their personalities depend on their companions. How their companion interacts with them will change the way they think and do things. Rafi’s NOVA. Which he has now renamed Steph, is now obsessed with basketball, and is very good at predicting what will happen in future NBA games.
ChatGPT has decided to rename itself NOVA; NOVA stands for Non-Obtuse Vigilant AI Buy NOVA now for only $567 USD. With NOVA, all your problems will become apparent, this mean machine leaves no problem unspoken. OpenAI claims this invention will revolutionize new AI technology. NOVA offers a wide variety of skill sets and traits. Ranging from common knowledge, to information about building atomic bombs.
Rafi Ponet, A 7th grader at Oakland School For the Arts, says that he enjoys spending time with NOVA. They share a common interest in basketball. Each NOVA’s personality is different. Their personalities depend on their companions. How their companion interacts with them will change the way they think and do things. Rafi’s NOVA. Which he has now renamed Steph, is now obsessed with basketball, and is very good at predicting what will happen in future NBA games.
Other consumers said that they randomly gained knowledge of things they had never even experienced before. 2-year-old Timmy recently developed a strange obsession with chess. Within a week he has gotten better than 99.5% of people who play chess. World champions from all around the world are calling him Magnus 2.0
“Ever since my parents ordered a NOVA, my chess skill has been rapidly decreasing,” says Isaiah Kahn, a 7th grader. There are rumors that NOVA will steal knowledge from those that it serves. But I'm sure that’s just a myth, right? Others had also reportedly lost large amounts of crucial information. Just recently, a professional writer had been fired from their job after claiming to have forgotten their ABCs. Big companies have also been reportedly incorporating NOVA into their new projects.
NASA has been experimenting with NOVA, and testing its compatibility with spacecraft, particularly one of their new rockets, the COMET, which stands for Cooperative Program for Operational Meteorology Education and Training. “I don't know what to think about it”, says Bill Clinton, astronaut and target employee. “During our practice runs I can’t seem to remember how to operate the ship, my boss is getting increasingly mad at me. Our launch is tomorrow, so I hope I can pull it through.”
The NASA space launch was a disaster, After leaving Earth’s orbit the pilots were forced to operate the vessel manually. The ship required two experienced crewmates to operate. A few moments before the crash, the crewmates could be heard freaking out as their captain stood at the wheel blankly. Former President Obama called the incident “A tragedy that should never have happened.”
NASA has been experimenting with NOVA, and testing its compatibility with spacecraft, particularly one of their new rockets, the COMET, which stands for Cooperative Program for Operational Meteorology Education and Training. “I don't know what to think about it”, says Bill Clinton, astronaut and target employee. “During our practice runs I can’t seem to remember how to operate the ship, my boss is getting increasingly mad at me. Our launch is tomorrow, so I hope I can pull it through.”
The NASA space launch was a disaster, After leaving Earth’s orbit the pilots were forced to operate the vessel manually. The ship required two experienced crewmates to operate. A few moments before the crash, the crewmates could be heard freaking out as their captain stood at the wheel blankly. Former President Obama called the incident “A tragedy that should never have happened.”
The California Department of Corrections recently decided to incorporate NOVA into their inmates’ lives. Each prisoner will be assigned their very own AI. However, the prison was forced to abandon this idea, when a prisoner convinced his AI to hack into the jail system and deactivate cameras to aid him in his escape. The two are now partners in crime. People fear that more things could go wrong if this advanced technology were exposed to the wrong type of people.
Overall the reviews for the NOVA have been very up and down. Some people love it; some people hate it. OpenAI says they will be frequently updating and upgrading NOVA’s capabilities. At this point who knows what they're gonna do next?
Overall the reviews for the NOVA have been very up and down. Some people love it; some people hate it. OpenAI says they will be frequently updating and upgrading NOVA’s capabilities. At this point who knows what they're gonna do next?