"The real truth of the fake real fake facts fake. Girlies did january 6th." --Aphrodite Avidon, 7th Grade
The following article is a special May investigation by the OSA Shallot staff, aiming to bring you the very best of the campus' fake news.
Hillary Clinton, Michelle Obama, Nancy Pelosi, Elizabeth Warren. You might recognize these names as four of the most senior women in the Democratic political establishment. What if I told you that these women were behind one of the most dangerous schemes in the last 20 years? The January 6th Insurrection.
An article by the newspaper Conservative Review recently published a never before seen text conversation between the four individuals. The article published a massive plot started by Michelle Obama instructing the former House Speaker Pelosi to hack Donald Trump’s X (formerly Twitter) account, and instruct the insurrectionists to infiltrate the capitol.
The motive of Obama is still unknown to The Shallot, however it is commonly suspected that her motive was either a desire to shake up the political establishment, or just pure hatred and fatigue of everything that has to do with her husband’s administration, including the then President-elect, Joe Biden, his Vice President.
The reasoning behind Pelosi’s easy agreement to be a co-conspirator is presumed to be her age of 84 and declining mental capacity. Of course, you’re probably wondering where Secretary Clinton and Senator Warren come into this. Well, Warren was in the House for a joint session, so her team ran around the Capitol building, opening windows and unlocking doors.
And Hillary, after debating Trump so many times, was Trump. Yes, with the help of James Austin Johnson (who played Trump on SNL), Clinton dressed up as the former president, instructed the rioters, inciting the capitol attack.
The reaction since the article came out has been major. Rep. Marjorie Taylor-Greene (R-GA) Says “We got them to follow the Q. The QAnon Q.” There have been many politicians calling for the January 6th prisoners to be pardoned by Biden, as well as Trump’s trials to be dropped.
Sources say the 2016 Presidential candidate’s indictment is scheduled for July of 2024, while the latter three co-conspirators indictments have not been scheduled.
Clinton responded in defense of herself and the three others by saying “This is a far fetched claim that has no evidence.” While she was saying this, a mask of Trump’s face was stuck to her foot.
Rep. Chip Roy (R-TX) says “Them girlies, we all knew it was coming” on Fox News on Sunday. The backlash has been wild, the rumors have surfaced, and Obama has fled to Canada.
Hillary Clinton, Michelle Obama, Nancy Pelosi, Elizabeth Warren. You might recognize these names as four of the most senior women in the Democratic political establishment. What if I told you that these women were behind one of the most dangerous schemes in the last 20 years? The January 6th Insurrection.
An article by the newspaper Conservative Review recently published a never before seen text conversation between the four individuals. The article published a massive plot started by Michelle Obama instructing the former House Speaker Pelosi to hack Donald Trump’s X (formerly Twitter) account, and instruct the insurrectionists to infiltrate the capitol.
The motive of Obama is still unknown to The Shallot, however it is commonly suspected that her motive was either a desire to shake up the political establishment, or just pure hatred and fatigue of everything that has to do with her husband’s administration, including the then President-elect, Joe Biden, his Vice President.
The reasoning behind Pelosi’s easy agreement to be a co-conspirator is presumed to be her age of 84 and declining mental capacity. Of course, you’re probably wondering where Secretary Clinton and Senator Warren come into this. Well, Warren was in the House for a joint session, so her team ran around the Capitol building, opening windows and unlocking doors.
And Hillary, after debating Trump so many times, was Trump. Yes, with the help of James Austin Johnson (who played Trump on SNL), Clinton dressed up as the former president, instructed the rioters, inciting the capitol attack.
The reaction since the article came out has been major. Rep. Marjorie Taylor-Greene (R-GA) Says “We got them to follow the Q. The QAnon Q.” There have been many politicians calling for the January 6th prisoners to be pardoned by Biden, as well as Trump’s trials to be dropped.
Sources say the 2016 Presidential candidate’s indictment is scheduled for July of 2024, while the latter three co-conspirators indictments have not been scheduled.
Clinton responded in defense of herself and the three others by saying “This is a far fetched claim that has no evidence.” While she was saying this, a mask of Trump’s face was stuck to her foot.
Rep. Chip Roy (R-TX) says “Them girlies, we all knew it was coming” on Fox News on Sunday. The backlash has been wild, the rumors have surfaced, and Obama has fled to Canada.
