"On October 31st, 2023, her majesty herself, Mariah Carey announced, and I quote, “It’s tiiiiiiime! She called and, krampus have mercy, we heard loud and clear." -- Cece Burger, 6th Grade
“Now Mariah... you know I love you, I’ve loved you all my life,” R&B legend Mary J. Blige says at the top of her and Carey’s song “It's’ a Wrap”—and I know that many of us agree: we’ve loved Carey our whole lives. On October 31st, 2023, her majesty herself, Mariah Carey announced, and I quote, “It’s tiiiiiiime! She called and, krampus have mercy, we heard loud and clear.
While legally speaking, Carey is not “The Queen of Christmas,” as a 2021 lawsuit regarding her attempt to copyright said title had been a failure. However, my queen is over here making new music videos and doing live performances, so the copyright office can’t tell me crap. (Am I allowed to say that? I don't want to get in trouble with the feds again.)
Carey’s “All I Want for Christmas is You” has been number one on the Billboards FOUR SEPARATE TIMES, and 2023 is no exception. As of November 25th, her hot hit is yet again number one on the holiday Billboards! Carey has made over 75 million dollars since 1994 with her famous Christmas album, making 60 million on the song “All I Want for Christmas is You” alone. Selling over 15 million copies worldwide of her Christmas album, Merry Christmas, it’s safe to say she’s capitalized on it.
But Amara Deanes, 6th grade, thinks differently. “I think her Christmas music is overrated,” said Deanes. Something I might not be able to agree with but that's FINE.
Carey may have been extremely successful with her 1994 album, but more recent singles have been… interesting. In 2010, Mariah Carey wrote the single “Oh Santa.” The song was, for some reason, HATED—which all I can really say to that is “you’re delusional, you’re delusional, oh you losing your mind.” After a few horrible reviews, “Oh Santa” fell from the spotlight and the stampede of angry critics moved on. Ten LONG YEARS LATER, Jennifer Hudson, Ariana Grande, and Mariah all filled into a studio to try and make some Christmas magic (or something) with randomly placed uncoordinated whistle notes and unknown emphasis on the word “snow” and “reindeer.” The song “Oh Santa” can really only be described as a phoenix in reverse, formed from the talent of a successful artist, crashed, burned and fell into a pile of Telegraph articles, ironic listeners, or people like me who only listen to it for the whistle notes.(Yes, PLURAL.)
At a more recent performance at the Hollywood Bowl, our queen (in a stunning nutcracker themed outfit!) declared, “Christmas is almost upon us!” Much to Los Angeles Times writers dismay, but a delight to everyone else in the audience. With her Christmas spirit and buoyant attitude, it is hard to not have a great time, interacting with the crowd between lines, asking, “are we being festive?” and complimenting their seasonal decor, “I’m loving the hats, and the tiaras—the ti-ahh-ras!” Once again, blessing us with her perfectly pitched whistle note, not random because this level of talent does not have any specific time.
While legally speaking, Carey is not “The Queen of Christmas,” as a 2021 lawsuit regarding her attempt to copyright said title had been a failure. However, my queen is over here making new music videos and doing live performances, so the copyright office can’t tell me crap. (Am I allowed to say that? I don't want to get in trouble with the feds again.)
Carey’s “All I Want for Christmas is You” has been number one on the Billboards FOUR SEPARATE TIMES, and 2023 is no exception. As of November 25th, her hot hit is yet again number one on the holiday Billboards! Carey has made over 75 million dollars since 1994 with her famous Christmas album, making 60 million on the song “All I Want for Christmas is You” alone. Selling over 15 million copies worldwide of her Christmas album, Merry Christmas, it’s safe to say she’s capitalized on it.
But Amara Deanes, 6th grade, thinks differently. “I think her Christmas music is overrated,” said Deanes. Something I might not be able to agree with but that's FINE.
Carey may have been extremely successful with her 1994 album, but more recent singles have been… interesting. In 2010, Mariah Carey wrote the single “Oh Santa.” The song was, for some reason, HATED—which all I can really say to that is “you’re delusional, you’re delusional, oh you losing your mind.” After a few horrible reviews, “Oh Santa” fell from the spotlight and the stampede of angry critics moved on. Ten LONG YEARS LATER, Jennifer Hudson, Ariana Grande, and Mariah all filled into a studio to try and make some Christmas magic (or something) with randomly placed uncoordinated whistle notes and unknown emphasis on the word “snow” and “reindeer.” The song “Oh Santa” can really only be described as a phoenix in reverse, formed from the talent of a successful artist, crashed, burned and fell into a pile of Telegraph articles, ironic listeners, or people like me who only listen to it for the whistle notes.(Yes, PLURAL.)
At a more recent performance at the Hollywood Bowl, our queen (in a stunning nutcracker themed outfit!) declared, “Christmas is almost upon us!” Much to Los Angeles Times writers dismay, but a delight to everyone else in the audience. With her Christmas spirit and buoyant attitude, it is hard to not have a great time, interacting with the crowd between lines, asking, “are we being festive?” and complimenting their seasonal decor, “I’m loving the hats, and the tiaras—the ti-ahh-ras!” Once again, blessing us with her perfectly pitched whistle note, not random because this level of talent does not have any specific time.
Christmas or not, Mariah Carey has continued to serenade us with her music, performances, and sass. See you next Christmas, Mariah but until then, “it’s a wrap for you baby!” See ya later!
