"No, It's not."-- Lucy Marie Warnke and Maya Mastropasqua, 8th grade
Nineteen years ago, Richard Curtis’s Love Actually premiered. It has since become a staple for holiday movies. Even if you haven’t seen it, you’re probably familiar with the iconic scene where Mark shows up at Juliet's door with “I love you” written on a big piece of paper. In reality, however, this is a pretty problematic movie. Here are five of the nine storylines broken down:
Harry and Karen
Harry and Karen
Karen (Emma Thompson) is truly the mainest main character in this ensemble cast. She’s one of the only characters that gets to show any emotional range, and is just generally in more scenes. Thompson’s portrayal comes across as somewhat real and genuine, and is totally believable as the settled-but-making-the-best-of-it-housewife.
However, this is still Love Actually, so there are some weird forced plot points for her character. She’s first introduced as a friend to Daniel (Liam Neeson) who is turning to her for support after recently losing his wife. Daniel is from a whole other story, and their conversations are so randomly placed and pointless that it’s clear the only reason they're friends is to connect the stories. Karen is also very randomly the Prime Minister's sister. It comes out of nowhere and is only brought up twice but does raise a lot of questions. Is the sister of the Prime Minister just allowed to live as a suburban PTA mom? Shouldn’t she have British security following her everywhere? Shouldn't she be rich?
With Harry, the two of them seem to start the movie with a pretty quaint relationship. It’s not some passionate, wildly, madly in love romance that the movie tries to convince you most of the other couples have. They have little conversations about music or whatever and it’s fine.
But Karen isn’t completely clueless to Harry’s affair. She doesn’t realize he’s actually having one until Christmas morning, but she does notice Mia beforehand. At Harry’s office party she sees them dance together, clearly aware that there’s some sort of attraction there. After the party she tells Harry to “be careful” and that’s that.
Everything is revealed on the fateful Christmas morning. After coming home from holiday shopping, Karen finds a necklace in her husband’s jacket she thinks is for her, because, obviously, who else would it be for, she’s his wife. It makes for a surprisingly genuinely sad scene where Karen opens her husband’s gift for her, realizing it’s not the necklace and the necklace was given to “the other woman.”.Since her whole family is literally watching her open this gift, she puts on a brave face for her kids and excuses herself to go to the bedroom and cry.
In the end, Karen and Harry are together –- but less happily than before. I think this might be one of the movie’s best written storylines. Clearly the relationship isn’t great, but all the necessary questions are answered. Alan Rickman and Emma Thompson both give charm to the characters that give them a deeper realness than others. It wasn’t amazing or anything, but considering the movie in question, it was pretty good.
David and Natalie
However, this is still Love Actually, so there are some weird forced plot points for her character. She’s first introduced as a friend to Daniel (Liam Neeson) who is turning to her for support after recently losing his wife. Daniel is from a whole other story, and their conversations are so randomly placed and pointless that it’s clear the only reason they're friends is to connect the stories. Karen is also very randomly the Prime Minister's sister. It comes out of nowhere and is only brought up twice but does raise a lot of questions. Is the sister of the Prime Minister just allowed to live as a suburban PTA mom? Shouldn’t she have British security following her everywhere? Shouldn't she be rich?
With Harry, the two of them seem to start the movie with a pretty quaint relationship. It’s not some passionate, wildly, madly in love romance that the movie tries to convince you most of the other couples have. They have little conversations about music or whatever and it’s fine.
But Karen isn’t completely clueless to Harry’s affair. She doesn’t realize he’s actually having one until Christmas morning, but she does notice Mia beforehand. At Harry’s office party she sees them dance together, clearly aware that there’s some sort of attraction there. After the party she tells Harry to “be careful” and that’s that.
Everything is revealed on the fateful Christmas morning. After coming home from holiday shopping, Karen finds a necklace in her husband’s jacket she thinks is for her, because, obviously, who else would it be for, she’s his wife. It makes for a surprisingly genuinely sad scene where Karen opens her husband’s gift for her, realizing it’s not the necklace and the necklace was given to “the other woman.”.Since her whole family is literally watching her open this gift, she puts on a brave face for her kids and excuses herself to go to the bedroom and cry.
In the end, Karen and Harry are together –- but less happily than before. I think this might be one of the movie’s best written storylines. Clearly the relationship isn’t great, but all the necessary questions are answered. Alan Rickman and Emma Thompson both give charm to the characters that give them a deeper realness than others. It wasn’t amazing or anything, but considering the movie in question, it was pretty good.
David and Natalie
The worst storyline of the hundreds of storylines this movie seems to have, is definitely the David (Hugh Grant) and Natalie (Martine McCutcheon) romance. David is the newly elected 40-something year old prime minister. Which, by the way, was so incredibly random. Why was a Prime Minister character needed? Natalie is his newly appointed 20-something year old secretary (seeing a theme?).
The beginning of the relationship mostly consists of Natalie and David having a two second conversation about what kind of tea he wants or whatever, Natalie leaving the room, and David smacking his head against the table saying something like, “oh dear” or “oh, no, no, no.”
Later in the movie, the President of the United States shows up for some reason. He and the British government have some meetings where the actors deliver robot-sounding fake political talk: “We cannot and will not accept that.” “That is unexpected.” “It should not be.”
In between all the meetings, the President and Natalie have a few interactions, all of which make Natalie visibly uncomfortable.
During a one-on-one meeting with the President, the Prime Minister leaves to get something as Natalie is entering the room to give them tea. When David comes back, he sees Natalie and the President standing very close seemingly doing….something, I guess. This is an absolute outrage to the Prime Minister and he actually even blames Natalie for it!. Natalie is HIS secretary and HE should be the one who gets to sexually harass her, goddamit! He then gives some confusing speech about America being a bully and it’s time England fights them back. (Against what?)
In the end, Natalie admits she loves him, apologizes profusely, and he forgives her for the President having had his hands all over her.
Aside from the main storyline, soooo many weird weight comments were made towards Natalie’s body. She’s referred to by one of her coworkers as “the chubby girl” with a “sizeable arse and huge thighs.” Her father even calls her “plumply”. It’s so often and unnecessary, it honestly makes it a really big turnoff for the movie.
David and Natalie deeply sucked. He, like Harry, was an older boss and she, like Mia, was the younger secretary. Except, don’t worry, this time around it’s okay, because David doesn’t have a wife.
Colin and the American Girls
The beginning of the relationship mostly consists of Natalie and David having a two second conversation about what kind of tea he wants or whatever, Natalie leaving the room, and David smacking his head against the table saying something like, “oh dear” or “oh, no, no, no.”
Later in the movie, the President of the United States shows up for some reason. He and the British government have some meetings where the actors deliver robot-sounding fake political talk: “We cannot and will not accept that.” “That is unexpected.” “It should not be.”
In between all the meetings, the President and Natalie have a few interactions, all of which make Natalie visibly uncomfortable.
During a one-on-one meeting with the President, the Prime Minister leaves to get something as Natalie is entering the room to give them tea. When David comes back, he sees Natalie and the President standing very close seemingly doing….something, I guess. This is an absolute outrage to the Prime Minister and he actually even blames Natalie for it!. Natalie is HIS secretary and HE should be the one who gets to sexually harass her, goddamit! He then gives some confusing speech about America being a bully and it’s time England fights them back. (Against what?)
In the end, Natalie admits she loves him, apologizes profusely, and he forgives her for the President having had his hands all over her.
Aside from the main storyline, soooo many weird weight comments were made towards Natalie’s body. She’s referred to by one of her coworkers as “the chubby girl” with a “sizeable arse and huge thighs.” Her father even calls her “plumply”. It’s so often and unnecessary, it honestly makes it a really big turnoff for the movie.
David and Natalie deeply sucked. He, like Harry, was an older boss and she, like Mia, was the younger secretary. Except, don’t worry, this time around it’s okay, because David doesn’t have a wife.
Colin and the American Girls
Colin (Kris Marshall) is portrayed as Love Actually’s “underdog”. Down on his luck, British women refuse to give him the sex he so rightfully deserves. He is just unable to crack the total and complete mystery that are women.
His storyline starts with several failed attempts at flirting. This is surprising considering he’s hitting them with witty zingers that would awe seventh graders across the nation such as “try my lovely nuts” and “hello, my future wife” to total strangers. This leads him to the only obvious and reasonable conclusion: British women have minds and opinions and therefore will not have sex with him. An American woman, however, would be his perfect dumb witted sidekick in the bedroom.
This would be fine and funny, if the funny part was that Colin thinks going to the States will make him this sex god able to rule women, when really, he’s not. This isn’t the case.
Colin goes to America to wow women with his British accent. It works, and as soon as he sets foot in an American bar, women just flock to him. Three women go up to him, saying he can sleep in their bed with them while they're all naked and sweaty. Basically, they are his sex objects to do whatever he wants with.
Juliet and Mark
His storyline starts with several failed attempts at flirting. This is surprising considering he’s hitting them with witty zingers that would awe seventh graders across the nation such as “try my lovely nuts” and “hello, my future wife” to total strangers. This leads him to the only obvious and reasonable conclusion: British women have minds and opinions and therefore will not have sex with him. An American woman, however, would be his perfect dumb witted sidekick in the bedroom.
This would be fine and funny, if the funny part was that Colin thinks going to the States will make him this sex god able to rule women, when really, he’s not. This isn’t the case.
Colin goes to America to wow women with his British accent. It works, and as soon as he sets foot in an American bar, women just flock to him. Three women go up to him, saying he can sleep in their bed with them while they're all naked and sweaty. Basically, they are his sex objects to do whatever he wants with.
Juliet and Mark
Juliet is a young, newly wed to her husband Peter. We’re introduced to the couple at their wedding. Throughout the ceremony and after party, we see Mark, the best man, filming the whole thing on his little camera. Although it seems apparent to the couple that Peter doesn't like Juliet, he is secretly in love with her. After Juliet asks him over and over to show her the videos he took, he has been weirdly avoiding showing her. Juliet is fed up with asking so she shows up at his flat. She decides that she wants to become friends with Mark, and he accepts her offer. But after he showed her the wedding tapes, she can tell that he may have more feelings for her than she thought. The film he took was mostly closeups of her face.
Fast forward a bit, on Christmas eve, Mark shows up to her door with cue cards that read things such as "to me, you are perfect." He stands in front of his boombox as it plays “Silent Night” in hopes that he can trick her husband into thinking it's just carolers. He ends up walking away and being followed by Juliet. She kisses him and runs back to her home. They don't end up together.
This is already so weird. The fact that he has a major crush on his best friend’s wife, and the fact that she kisses him. I don't think that this is a very problematic plot as much as it is confusing. Their relationship adds so much more messiness to the plot. Love Actually is by far the most confusing and random movie I have ever seen. Not only is each subplot shadowed with sexism, fat phobia, or general toxicity, they are set up in a confusing array of sequences in order to make sure they're all connected. This relationship was definitely weird, but I wouldn't say that it's extremely problematic.
Billy Mack and Joe
Fast forward a bit, on Christmas eve, Mark shows up to her door with cue cards that read things such as "to me, you are perfect." He stands in front of his boombox as it plays “Silent Night” in hopes that he can trick her husband into thinking it's just carolers. He ends up walking away and being followed by Juliet. She kisses him and runs back to her home. They don't end up together.
This is already so weird. The fact that he has a major crush on his best friend’s wife, and the fact that she kisses him. I don't think that this is a very problematic plot as much as it is confusing. Their relationship adds so much more messiness to the plot. Love Actually is by far the most confusing and random movie I have ever seen. Not only is each subplot shadowed with sexism, fat phobia, or general toxicity, they are set up in a confusing array of sequences in order to make sure they're all connected. This relationship was definitely weird, but I wouldn't say that it's extremely problematic.
Billy Mack and Joe
Billy Mack, the rock-and-roll legend, decides that since he's getting older he wants to make a new album that will kickstart a great Christmas. His long-time manager, Joe, is ready to help him pursue this.
Billy has a reputation for being a total jerk. He's very rude to his coworkers and can find a way to disrespect pretty much everybody. He pulls major stunts to boost his sales, he mouths off in interviews about how he's a recovering heroin addict and how this album will be his comeback. Joe, on the other hand, is a sad and lonely man. He lives alone in a small apartment and doesn't seem to enjoy anything very much.
Billy Mack is constantly making fun of Joe by calling him his “fat manager” and bringing up his insecurities for comedic purposes. Joe is obviously hurt by the remarks, but he doesn't pay much attention to them. The extremely toxic friendship between the two is supposed to show off a feel-good male friendship, but it really just comes to show what horrible expectations are being shown off in this film.
The behavior gets bad at the film's climax when Billy's song is reaching the charts because of the sudden popularity and attention it's been receiving. He's being invited to large parties and events, to which he doesn't invite Joe. By the end, he shows up to his lonely apartment and declares his love to Joe.
This is a perfect example of why this movie is so flawed. The relationship that is supposed to be a funny and lighthearted male friendship, is really just one man who constantly fat shames and ridicules another, and is faced with no backlash whatsoever. This isn’t a beautiful story about masculine friendship-–it’s men getting away with doing whatever they want and expecting there to be no consequence.
When all is said and done, Love Actually can barely even be called a movie—really it’s just an unreasonable amount of weak stories without any direction or impact. Every storyline in this movie made no sense, they all combined to create an even more messy and unrealistic plot. If you enjoy comically bad and problematic movies- Love Actually is for you!
Billy has a reputation for being a total jerk. He's very rude to his coworkers and can find a way to disrespect pretty much everybody. He pulls major stunts to boost his sales, he mouths off in interviews about how he's a recovering heroin addict and how this album will be his comeback. Joe, on the other hand, is a sad and lonely man. He lives alone in a small apartment and doesn't seem to enjoy anything very much.
Billy Mack is constantly making fun of Joe by calling him his “fat manager” and bringing up his insecurities for comedic purposes. Joe is obviously hurt by the remarks, but he doesn't pay much attention to them. The extremely toxic friendship between the two is supposed to show off a feel-good male friendship, but it really just comes to show what horrible expectations are being shown off in this film.
The behavior gets bad at the film's climax when Billy's song is reaching the charts because of the sudden popularity and attention it's been receiving. He's being invited to large parties and events, to which he doesn't invite Joe. By the end, he shows up to his lonely apartment and declares his love to Joe.
This is a perfect example of why this movie is so flawed. The relationship that is supposed to be a funny and lighthearted male friendship, is really just one man who constantly fat shames and ridicules another, and is faced with no backlash whatsoever. This isn’t a beautiful story about masculine friendship-–it’s men getting away with doing whatever they want and expecting there to be no consequence.
When all is said and done, Love Actually can barely even be called a movie—really it’s just an unreasonable amount of weak stories without any direction or impact. Every storyline in this movie made no sense, they all combined to create an even more messy and unrealistic plot. If you enjoy comically bad and problematic movies- Love Actually is for you!
