"While some of RFK jUNior's claims aren’t new, like his assertion that taking Tylenol during pregnancy is a cause of autism, he now has an even more outrageous claim: Eating rocks can prevent autism. So what do people think about this?" --Alice Stewart, 7th grade
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"AI uses water to cool down and to stop it from overheating, though since it has been training so many humans, they have gained taste buds—and, like any “human,” AI has gotten sick of water and has been raiding McDonald’s." -- kasper stallworth, 7th grade "Recently, reports and videos circling on the internet have shown that aliens have crashed-landed onto Earth and kidnapped and potentially harmed our infamous president, Donald J. Trump." --AJ morales, 8th grade "Taco Bell has announced it will be discontinuing its beloved Baja Blast. The decision, revealed in an Instagram post titled, "A Farewell to the Tide," has left fans angry and demanding answers." -- Ava Ford, 8th grade On April 1st, 2025, Sigmaskibidi44, a music artist that uses AI to create their music, was added to the Rock N Roll Hall of Fame. - leo pyskacek 6th grade "Youtube is getting banned in the United states, and the creator of Youtube now has until July 21st, 2025 to give the app to the government." --Naomi stallworth, 6th grade "On Easter, Alternative Popstar Lana Del Rey announced on the social media platform Instagram to her millions of followers, “So grateful to be able to welcome little Cigarette Blue Eyeshadow Rose Grant, into the family and the world.” -- CeCE Burger, 7th grade "On April 21st, pop sensation Justin Bieber publicly confessed his deep, unwavering love for producer Benny Blanco during an exclusive interview with People Magazine. The confession has sent shockwaves through the music industry, the internet, and perhaps most notably, the hearts of millions of Beliebers worldwide." --Ruby Deetz, 8th grade "How do you feel about gladiator fights? What about in school?" -- celeste eagleton, 8th grade |
The Shallot is the OSA Telegraph's satire newspaper, which runs every May for our last issue of the school year.
Please enjoy the best of OSA's fake news! |