"Trump sparked confusion from journalists after he announced tariffs to end world hunger, and revealed that he thought tariff was a candy bar" --Aphrodite Avidon, Eighth Grade
The following article is a special May investigation by the OSA Shallot staff, aiming to bring you the very best of the campus' fake news.
WASHINGTON, D.C.- President Donald J. Trump has signed an executive order to impose 8 billion percent tariffs on all countries worldwide. The order sparked confusion among reporters after Trump announced that its goal would be to “end world hunger,” which seemed to have no relation to tariffs. When asked by journalists from MSNBC how tariffs relate to feeding the hungry, Trump said that he will give everyone as many tariffs as they want, further confusing journalists.
MSNBC then asked, “You do know that a tariff is a tax on imports, right?” Trump then responded by saying, “Look, the woke media was trying to confuse me the whole time! They said Tariffs were delicious. Guys, I thought Tariff was a candy bar.”
Trump later posted on the social media platform Truth Social that he swore he had a tariff candy bar before, leading some to believe that he was mixing up a tariff with the popular chocolate candy “Payday,” both being related to finance.
Later, Trump announced that he did not want to limit trade with any country, especially America’s allies such as Canada and the European Union, but he did want to make efforts to stop world hunger, such as giving many people candy bars and other high-calorie items to feed the malnourished.
Trump’s gaffe led to criticism from many prominent Democrats, with many calling for Trump to take a cognitive test to reassure that he does not suffer from dementia or a disease that could diminish his capability to serve in the office of the president.
Many Republicans and Democrats sponsored a bill to end malnourishment worldwide with the “One Candy Bar at a Time Act,” however, fiscally conservative Republicans called it “A form of socialism.” The bill passed the House of Representatives with a 376-57 vote, and is pending a Senate vote. Trump has expressed his extreme support for the bill.
Trump also declared the end of Tariffs forever, saying that any extra tax on Americans was horrible and unconstitutional. He also stated that he was elected to help people and lower costs, which is the direct goal of the Candy Bar legislation. While the legislation is pending, Trump signed an executive order instructing Air Force personnel to conduct flights dropping “candy bars with the little parachutes on the back” over active war zones like Ukraine and the Gaza Strip.
Trump’s gaffe also led to his marketing team selling an official candy bar called the “Tariff,” which has flavors including “Reciprocal,” a white chocolate candy, and “Import,” a creamy milk chocolate candy.
WASHINGTON, D.C.- President Donald J. Trump has signed an executive order to impose 8 billion percent tariffs on all countries worldwide. The order sparked confusion among reporters after Trump announced that its goal would be to “end world hunger,” which seemed to have no relation to tariffs. When asked by journalists from MSNBC how tariffs relate to feeding the hungry, Trump said that he will give everyone as many tariffs as they want, further confusing journalists.
MSNBC then asked, “You do know that a tariff is a tax on imports, right?” Trump then responded by saying, “Look, the woke media was trying to confuse me the whole time! They said Tariffs were delicious. Guys, I thought Tariff was a candy bar.”
Trump later posted on the social media platform Truth Social that he swore he had a tariff candy bar before, leading some to believe that he was mixing up a tariff with the popular chocolate candy “Payday,” both being related to finance.
Later, Trump announced that he did not want to limit trade with any country, especially America’s allies such as Canada and the European Union, but he did want to make efforts to stop world hunger, such as giving many people candy bars and other high-calorie items to feed the malnourished.
Trump’s gaffe led to criticism from many prominent Democrats, with many calling for Trump to take a cognitive test to reassure that he does not suffer from dementia or a disease that could diminish his capability to serve in the office of the president.
Many Republicans and Democrats sponsored a bill to end malnourishment worldwide with the “One Candy Bar at a Time Act,” however, fiscally conservative Republicans called it “A form of socialism.” The bill passed the House of Representatives with a 376-57 vote, and is pending a Senate vote. Trump has expressed his extreme support for the bill.
Trump also declared the end of Tariffs forever, saying that any extra tax on Americans was horrible and unconstitutional. He also stated that he was elected to help people and lower costs, which is the direct goal of the Candy Bar legislation. While the legislation is pending, Trump signed an executive order instructing Air Force personnel to conduct flights dropping “candy bars with the little parachutes on the back” over active war zones like Ukraine and the Gaza Strip.
Trump’s gaffe also led to his marketing team selling an official candy bar called the “Tariff,” which has flavors including “Reciprocal,” a white chocolate candy, and “Import,” a creamy milk chocolate candy.