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  • The Shallot
  • Home
    • About
    • Staff
  • Art+Music
  • Columns
    • Sports
    • Internet Sparkles
    • Poetry Horoscopes
    • History Repeats Itself
    • Food + Culture
    • Drama Qu33n
  • Current Events
  • Lifestyle
  • Bay Area
  • OSA
  • Op Ed
  • Science + Tech
  • Q+A
  • Comics
  • DONATE
  • The Shallot
  The OSA Telegraph

The Shallot

bahja blast discontinued

5/9/2025

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"​Taco Bell has announced it will be discontinuing its beloved Baja Blast. The decision, revealed in an Instagram post titled, "A Farewell to the Tide," has left fans angry and demanding answers." -- Ava Ford, 8th grade

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AI music artist inducted into The rock n' roll hall of fame

5/8/2025

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On April 1st, 2025, Sigmaskibidi44, a music artist that uses AI to create their music, was added to the Rock N Roll Hall of Fame. - leo pyskacek 6th grade

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Youtube banned in the United States

5/8/2025

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"Youtube is getting banned in the United states, and the creator of Youtube now has until July 21st, 2025 to give the app to the government." --Naomi stallworth, 6th grade


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alternative pop star, lana del rey facing backlash due to reptile child

5/8/2025

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"On Easter,  Alternative Popstar Lana Del Rey announced on the social media platform Instagram to her millions of followers, “So grateful to be able to welcome little Cigarette Blue Eyeshadow Rose  Grant, into the family and the world.” -- CeCE Burger, 7th grade

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Justin Beiber Confesses His Love For Benny Blanco

5/8/2025

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"On April 21st, pop sensation Justin Bieber publicly confessed his deep, unwavering love for producer Benny Blanco during an exclusive interview with People Magazine. The confession has sent shockwaves through the music industry, the internet, and perhaps most notably, the hearts of millions of Beliebers worldwide." --Ruby Deetz, 8th grade

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OSA changes casspp testing to gladiator fights for students, school funding goes down

5/6/2025

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"How do you feel about gladiator fights? What about in school?" -- celeste eagleton, 8th grade

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Trump comfirmed "Triden 4life!!!"

5/6/2025

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"Trump finally reveals who his secret lover is after months of suspense." -- Sayori Espinoza, 6th grade

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50 million Americans change their name to X in exchange for a free lifetime supply of burger king, an AK-47 and a MAGA hat, in trump and elon’s new advertising campaign

5/6/2025

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"This week, millions of Americans have lined up outside of Burger King's new “supremeiest extra cheesiest super greasiest court” to wait for burgers, fries, and an AK-47" --Lilah Aparton, 7th Grade

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GRINGOS getting deported!? What has daniella trumpa done?

5/6/2025

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"Daniella Trumpa has now spoke her thoughts and is deporting gringos even if their not illegal"--Paloma bastos, 6th grade

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The scandal behind osa's teacher lounge

5/6/2025

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Have you ever been in the teachers’ lounge? Probably not. In this article, we will uncover what the teachers’ lounge really looks like, what luxuries the teachers may have, and where they got the money for what some are calling the “Palace de Professeurs.”-- Violet regilio , 6th grade

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    The Shallot is the OSA Telegraph's satire newspaper, which runs every May for our last issue of the school year.
    ​Please enjoy the best of OSA's fake news!