"You might be wondering, how could Thanksgiving be any worse? With the loud chewing, the awkward seating, and the “thankful” speeches. But really, all of this is nothing compared to the recipes you're about to see." -- Lilah Aparton, 7th grade
You might be wondering, how could Thanksgiving be any worse? With the loud chewing, the awkward seating, and the “thankful” speeches. But really, all of this is nothing compared to the recipes you're about to see.
SpaghettiO Jello
I can already hear your thoughts, “Wow Lilah! What the fresh hell is this? Did someone really just combine the two of the most disgusting dishes into one?” and the answer is: yes, I did. This abomination to society originated in the 1950s. I assume it was created after a housewife had a long day of cleaning, and decided to unleash Satan upon her kitchen counter.
It all starts with a ¼ cup of water, what could possibly go wrong? Well, let me read the rest of the recipe. Add two packages of gelatin to make your whole house smell like dookie. Then I moved on to boiling it down at medium heat
Oh! And then my fire alarm went off. After stirring the horrendous concoction for about five minutes, while mixing in ¼ cup of condensed tomato soup you’ll have an even more grotesque creation. After that I added not, ¼ cup, not ½ cup, not a can, but two whole cans of spaghettiOs.
Mix that and pour it into the biggest jello mold you have. After waiting about 6-10 hours you’ll have the most horrifyingly repulsive, stomach-turning, foul dish to ever set foot in your home.
Bruce Aparton, a dad who has an ability to cook says, “The flavor was bland yet tomatoey and chewy with touches of frost,” and, “I don’t think it would be necessary to suspend SpaghettiO’s in gelatin, I would much rather people cook it the way it says on the package.”
Brown Gravy
Gravy is probably the most feared dish on the table, it’s coagulated, gooey texture is just a major turn-off to people's taste buds. According to allrecipes.com, to create this nasty dish, you: “Melt butter in a small saucepan over medium heat. Whisk in flour and stir until the mixture becomes paste-like and light golden brown, about 5 minutes.” Surely this wouldn’t get you disowned if you brought this to Thanksgiving right?
After that, whisk in beef broth as the lumps of mystery ooze disappear into the abyss. Mix in a plethora of sauces and spices. Such as ketchup, Worcestershire sauce, dijon mustard, onion powder, garlic powder, salt, and black pepper. Now whisk for 5 more minutes and don’t enjoy.
“It's very ketchupy, and sort of has the texture of ground meat, if this was served at a restaurant, it would be permanently shut down,” says Domino Howlett-Cragg, a seventh grader in Literary Arts.
Howlett-Cragg isn’t alone— plenty of other people hate the recipe. Charles Wagenblast, a user on Allrecipes.com says, “Bad flavor. May have been better without the ketchup and much less If any dijon mustard.”
Green bean casserole
Preheat the oven to 350 degrees to make your entire house heat up. First, grease an 8-inch square baking dish. Then, fry bacon in a large skillet over medium heat until it shatters when you breathe on it. Then drain it on paper towels. Now that your house smells like a vegetarian's worst nightmare, grab a large bowl and mix the green beans and salad dressing together; pour the disgusting mixture into your baking dish. Now crumble bacon on top. If you have the conscience to go further, bake uncovered in the preheated oven.
Yoly, a user on allrecipes.com was not fond of the dish, “Made half of the recipe. Glad I did because neither hubby nor I cared for it. We could not eat it.” Not everyone hates it though, when asked if they would be disowned at a family dinner table for bringing this, Khorov Grembek a T.A. in Literary Arts says, “I would be heavily questioned but I don’t think I would be disowned.”
SpaghettiO Jello
I can already hear your thoughts, “Wow Lilah! What the fresh hell is this? Did someone really just combine the two of the most disgusting dishes into one?” and the answer is: yes, I did. This abomination to society originated in the 1950s. I assume it was created after a housewife had a long day of cleaning, and decided to unleash Satan upon her kitchen counter.
It all starts with a ¼ cup of water, what could possibly go wrong? Well, let me read the rest of the recipe. Add two packages of gelatin to make your whole house smell like dookie. Then I moved on to boiling it down at medium heat
Oh! And then my fire alarm went off. After stirring the horrendous concoction for about five minutes, while mixing in ¼ cup of condensed tomato soup you’ll have an even more grotesque creation. After that I added not, ¼ cup, not ½ cup, not a can, but two whole cans of spaghettiOs.
Mix that and pour it into the biggest jello mold you have. After waiting about 6-10 hours you’ll have the most horrifyingly repulsive, stomach-turning, foul dish to ever set foot in your home.
Bruce Aparton, a dad who has an ability to cook says, “The flavor was bland yet tomatoey and chewy with touches of frost,” and, “I don’t think it would be necessary to suspend SpaghettiO’s in gelatin, I would much rather people cook it the way it says on the package.”
Brown Gravy
Gravy is probably the most feared dish on the table, it’s coagulated, gooey texture is just a major turn-off to people's taste buds. According to allrecipes.com, to create this nasty dish, you: “Melt butter in a small saucepan over medium heat. Whisk in flour and stir until the mixture becomes paste-like and light golden brown, about 5 minutes.” Surely this wouldn’t get you disowned if you brought this to Thanksgiving right?
After that, whisk in beef broth as the lumps of mystery ooze disappear into the abyss. Mix in a plethora of sauces and spices. Such as ketchup, Worcestershire sauce, dijon mustard, onion powder, garlic powder, salt, and black pepper. Now whisk for 5 more minutes and don’t enjoy.
“It's very ketchupy, and sort of has the texture of ground meat, if this was served at a restaurant, it would be permanently shut down,” says Domino Howlett-Cragg, a seventh grader in Literary Arts.
Howlett-Cragg isn’t alone— plenty of other people hate the recipe. Charles Wagenblast, a user on Allrecipes.com says, “Bad flavor. May have been better without the ketchup and much less If any dijon mustard.”
Green bean casserole
Preheat the oven to 350 degrees to make your entire house heat up. First, grease an 8-inch square baking dish. Then, fry bacon in a large skillet over medium heat until it shatters when you breathe on it. Then drain it on paper towels. Now that your house smells like a vegetarian's worst nightmare, grab a large bowl and mix the green beans and salad dressing together; pour the disgusting mixture into your baking dish. Now crumble bacon on top. If you have the conscience to go further, bake uncovered in the preheated oven.
Yoly, a user on allrecipes.com was not fond of the dish, “Made half of the recipe. Glad I did because neither hubby nor I cared for it. We could not eat it.” Not everyone hates it though, when asked if they would be disowned at a family dinner table for bringing this, Khorov Grembek a T.A. in Literary Arts says, “I would be heavily questioned but I don’t think I would be disowned.”